Poor Young Things

Day 5: Ain't Gonna Die

2011-12-25T12:56:00.002-05:00

When I taught tragedy to my high-schoolers, I taught that tragedy was a study in identity. Identity informs behavior. In Shakespearean tragedy, the tragic heroes behave according to who they think we are. Romeo, for example, struggles with Juliet being a Capulet because his identity is based in his own family at the beginning of the play. As the play progresses, Romeo's identity becomes that of a lover, so much so that once his 'other half' is dead he has no reason to live. Had he retained any of us natural identity, he wouldn't have felt compelled to end his life, thus resulting in a completely different play as Juliet would have awoken five minutes later, reuniting them. Brutus, likewise, must decide between being a patriotic senator above all else, or Caesar's friend. He chooses the former. Macbeth willingly adopts the identity of the king of Scotland after the prediction by the Weird Sisters even though he has no indication it will be handed to him. This adoption so firmly roots itself in his soul that he goes to any lengths to see it played out.

Our identity determines how we act, but we humans are social creatures, and we derive a lot of our identity from the people around us. It is how we are built. What happens, then, if the people around us look at us with confusion? What if society brands you a horrible person, or gives up on you entirely? What if your friends and family have trouble understanding your behavior? What do you think of yourself then?

Mistakes happen. Let's go one step further: willful, sinful behavior happens. The fact that we, as humans, are destructive is nothing new or unique. So, after we have made many, rather large errors what is left for us?

Well, here is a promise:

"You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
        rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
You'll be known as those who can fix anything,
       restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
       make the community livable again."

Isaiah 58:12 The Message

This promise is conditional though. It rests on our commitment to following God. Isaiah 58:1-5 describes a well-meaning, religious people who struggle with an absence of God's peace, presence and power. The reason for this is brought out in verses 6-11: they are not truly committed to living selfless, others-centered lives. Their faith is important to them only due to what it can do for them.Still, once we begin to pursue God with abandon, once we no longer have to hear Bach's cello suits, or see Van Gogh's paintings, or the beautiful families our friends are producing and bemoan the fact we have produced nothing of merit. This, friends, is simply not true. Your rubble is God's building block, ladies and gentleman. Let the world sneer at the mess you have made. Allow them their misunderstanding. Allow them their judgement and allow them their doubt. Remember: "the stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone" (Psalms 118:22 NIV). If we humble ourselves and allow God to supply our identity we can, and will, build again. The structure might not be ostentatious. It might look nothing like you had envisioned. It might be smaller in scale, but it will not be smaller in impact. Your soul is just as important as the ones around you, and the structure you build, with God's help, will provide a blanket of peace for you to sleep under. Your days and nights will no longer be spent in self-loathing and anxiety. When you devote your existence to understanding your worth through God's eyes, "no grass will grow under your feet [and] no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience" (II Peter 1:8-9 The Message).

As Emiliani Torrini sings:
"Scatterbrain
You've been crying in the rain
You've been drowning in your pain
Ain't gonna die

Do the right thing
Win or lose."

There is life after destruction. You are only free to do anything when you've lost everything.

[sII]

Day 4: Consequences

2011-12-11T03:57:00.001-05:00

Today in the car, one of my good friends looked at me and said, "I really hate to see you go through what you are going through." While it is a nice thing to say, and while it means my friends truly love me since they want the best for me, this phrase struck a deep spiritual chord in me. This is very like something a parent would say when a child is facing the consequences of their bad decisions: "I really wish you didn't have to deal with this, but this is what happens when you step on your sister's foot/break your friend's bike/cheat on a test/etc." After my friend spoke, suddenly, I felt a small sense of comfort, for I knew God was saying to me, "Aaron, I hate you are having to go through this, but you need to go through this, in all of its forms." So, what profit can consequences bring? It is impossible to learn proper boundaries without having to deal with the consequences of breaking them.

I'm reading a book called Boundaries, and have so far been able to identify myself as a person divided between these two tendencies: a) Inability to Say "No" To Bad Situations and b) Manipulative Controller. Controllers are people who have a difficult time taking responsibility for their own actions, so they need to control other people's. Controllers want people to shoulder both their individual burdens (which are our own to carry), and their crushing burdens (which should drive us to ask for help). Manipulative controllers, unlike agressive controllers, "try to persuade people out of their boundaries." The best example of this in the Bible is Jacob, a man whose name means "deceiver." After deceiving people several times he is finally confronted by God, wrestles with God, and is left lame as a consequence. Yet, Jacob changed, for "only when the manipulative controller is confronted with his dishonesty can he take responsibility for it, repent of it, and accept his and others' limits." This is precisely what consequences are good for. I might leave these circumstances permanently altered in some way, like Jacob, but I will be set free from a much more insidious malady in the process. I have an affect on the world. I do not leave it untouched and virginal. Wherever I walk, something happens, and that is an important thing for a man to realize. Now, I must make sure that this "something" is positive, and not negative.

[sV]

Day 3: Setting Self Aside

2011-12-10T16:33:00.001-05:00

When I'm inside my head, I'm behind enemy lines. The worst possible place to be is stuck inside my own brain, thinking thinking thinking. Problems cannot be solved with thought, and, often, the more one thinks the more deep into depression one sinks. Thinking equals sinking. Prayer acts as a release valve.

Prayer is not simply talking to oneself. You are not treating yourself as a sounding board. Prayer is the belief that you are communicating with God, and that you need to communicate with Him to understand his desires and your own need. If you have this belief, you are praying when you kneel and get quiet. If you do not understand your need for repentance and submission then you are King Claudius: "My words fly up, my thoughts remain below / Words without thought never to heaven go."

Today, I struggled with being in my own head. Luckily, I spent the afternoon exercising with my small group leader, and then I had the opportunity to participate in my church's Lazarus Ministry (a feeding/clothing of the homeless), but I felt dreary today. I feel remorse, regret, and a large amount of fear of the unknown. Fear leads to shame, since the future could be socially embarrassing. The only counter to fear is activity and conversation. I called and checked in my emotions with several good friends, and so I have a one day reprieve from my insanity. That is all Jesus promises: daily bread. Daily reprieves. Daily respites. Daily guidance. I need not and cannot get hung up on "the future." I must recognize my daily need for spiritual maintenance and humbly ask for help for right now.

Working with the homeless today was humbling. I saw homeless people who desperately wanted to help us set up and take down our tables and chairs. I saw homeless people who were content to do nothing but take the plate of food and leave. I saw people who both were craved a destiny and purpose, and those who had resigned themselves to their position. Both were equally haunting and equally sad. In one I saw a wasted human who desires to be part of something bigger, but is not given the chance. In the other, I saw people who had grown content, and no longer were striving to push for more from the world. Both could become me. I suppose they could become any of us. Do I demand audience with God and take advantage of the gifts I have been given? Or do I squander them, and then grow upset when they are taken away.

One of my friends said, "I just did something I dreaded doing." "What was that?" I asked. "I gave out blankets." Confused, I prodded him: "That was hard?" "Yes, I ran out of blankets."

[sIII]

Day 2: Harmonic Resonance

2011-12-10T00:12:00.001-05:00

In our society, we learn early on to treasure the technology with "coast" settings. Cars: cruise control; Microwaves/washing machines/dish washers: turn them on and walk away. In almost every facet of our lives there is some invention that allows to leave, blissfully unaware of what is happening, while we attend to other matters, letting the machine do the bulk of the work for us. Even when I cook, a typically attention-heavy task, I try to find recipes that require little to no observation (this is why I love my Crock Pot). Is it no surprise then that we have to be taught to not treat ourselves and our relationships this way? Its a lesson I am certainly learning right now.

How many times have I hit an emotional wall because I felt chaos brewing inside of me, felt too much was going on in my head, that I couldn't order the various pressures and strands of thought, and so just shut down? How many relationships have I seen dissolve or destroyed (as I stood by, confused) due to the same issues: water fills up the boat and by the time you notice something is wrong, it's a lost battle -- you can't bail out the boat fast enough.

I want life to be a series of moments. By the time one moment happens, the previous ones have passed, leaving me fresh and ready for the next. But that is not how life tends work. The human soul is not Teflon. Moments do not slide off of me and disappear into the void of the past. I am not automatically reborn every minute, innocent and fresh, ready for the next conversation, task or difficulty. Moments stick to me, although I have often not noticed them until there are so many I feel weighted down.

So where do harmonics come into this? Let's say an argument is a note. Without daily maintenance, this note continues to hum, possibly softly, in the background of your soul. You do not take the steps to silence this note, so it remains, vibrating softly, but very much there. You have another argument, and another note is added, and on and on and on. Soon your soul is a cacophony. Your spirit is not quiet, still or able to focus. You feel frantic, or anxious, or depressed. You are a bundle of noises, all vibrating together causing a harmonic resonance in your soul that shatters you, like a singer's voice to a glass.

This is where our society sets such a horrendous example for us. We are delicate, and we require a lot of maintenance and a lot of observation. We need self-care, and this self-care, this "cleansing," this snuffing of the notes, only comes through prayer and humble submission. And relationships need daily maintenance just as much as individuals. You can never assume a relationship is on "cruise control," just as you can't assume you're spirit is peaceful because you maintained the day or week before. I've seen my marriage go awry due to harmonic overload, and I've had many conversations with my best friend about how much we need to more regular maintenance. But then there is myself, for I cannot be a true friend unless I am practicing self-care. Unless I am calming the storms inside of me, even when I do not think I am stormy, I cannot function in the real world. This has been the root of many of my bad decisions. Lack of daily spiritual maintenance, either out of arrogance ("I don't need it"), anger ("I don't want it"), or fear ("What would God say?"), has built up a deadly level of noise in my mind and spirit, and even though this noise is not "real," it feels real, and I then assume nothing is left but to silence the noise through some grandiose action that ends up hurting me.

Day 1: Living in Uncertainty

2011-12-08T12:03:00.003-05:00

I suppose Friday, the day I lost my job, was really "Day 1" but since I am only starting this journal now, I'll move the date up. This will be my daily account of what it means to be afraid and to try to find direction. Even in fear, humans are prideful and stubborn and we refuse to give up our sins and seek assistance. This journal will allow me to see where I am most stubborn, and to, possibly, help others understand that humility isn't as humiliating as it seems to be.

Honesty is really hard because I don't know what I feel. I feel down at the same time that I feel relief. I feel shame at the same time that I feel shame is only in my head. I feel remorse. I feel some excitement. How can I balance all of these feelings out?

Worse, once these first frantic weeks are over, life will get dull and monotonous once again. I love frantic. Frantic supplies me with distraction, gives me an excuse to act out, and keeps things from feeling normal. Strangely enough, if I were to examine my daydreams they always consist of "lazy days" with people I love. When I put on music, I put on music that makes me feel relaxed and kindles the feelings of nostalgia. I think about days where I sat around with my ex-wife, or days where I arose early to read vigorously while it rained. My dreams are my true inner desires, but my immediate person feeds off chaos, and my inner desires are never realized. Inner desires = spiritual fact. My spirit knows what it needs. It years for peace, which means it yearns for forgiveness, which means it years to be known. The only being who can know me as well as I crave is God.

Yet, I've taken my need and sought answers away from my relationship with God. To "stray" is, in many ways, to fulfill any need without finding that need in God Himself: "Lord whatever it Is I am looking for in this girl, this situation, this moment, this glass of wine, this joint, this job, or this video game, let me find it in You." That is my favorite prayer and I have no prayed it enough.

How do I maintain a sense of realism about my situation without minimizing my actions and without maximizing the doom? I have lost a lot due to my actions: a marriage, untold opportunities, and now, a job and a career. When looked at through that light it looks really bleak.

One of my dearest friends emailed me the following verses:

1 Peter 5:6-11

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Now, one more time from The Message.

1 Peter 5:6-11

[6-7] So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.

[8-11] Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

Deliver Us From Evil

2011-06-27T22:22:00.023-04:00

As far back as I can remember, I have never truly understood what God's role was in my life. In other words, when does God 'do things' and when does He expect me to 'do things,' etc. When I learned the Lord's Prayer as a child, I never stopped to analyze why I pray for God to "lead me not into temptation." Isn't that God's job, after all, to protect? And if God is in the business of making people better, why is this prayer even necessary? God might allow me to drift into some personal turmoil, that was clearly stated by the theology I was taught, but temptation is a whole different matter. God wants us to be holy, and while temptation might arise out of the messiness of life, it was God's business to get us out of it. So why, I have wondered, am I praying for Him not to put me in it in the first place, as if He was the primary agent?

My error has come from my mental picture of my relationship to God. I, for some reason, have always envisioned being pushed or steered by God. God, I thought, was behind me, pushing on my shoulders, and this part of the prayer concerns asking God to steer me down the well-paved portion of the road, away from potholes. If God started to push me towards a pothole, or a situation He knew I would have trouble making a good decision in, this, in my philosophy, was akin to betrayal (or cruelness), as if God had a smirk on his face as I looked back at him stricken with panic. While Christianity often implores many different metaphors to explain how we should view ourselves in relation to God (get out of the driver's seat, we are God's children, we are lost lambs, etc.) the image Jesus uses in this verse is crucial, and substituting another metaphor breaks the meaning. Jesus clearly says "lead," which implies an entirely different relationship than the one I had traditionally pictured. So radical is the difference that merely aligning my mind with the correct metaphor has changed my understanding of God.

To be led implies God is foremost. He is in front, and I am behind. He is holding my hand, walking me through life. My participation comes from asking to be led. Jesus uses this word many times, saying such things as, "take up your cross and follow me," and "anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead," and "don't run from suffering, embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how." Contrary to my previous understanding, this section of the Lord's prayer isn't about asking God to change his behavior at all. His default setting is not to steer me into a no-win scenario, with only my fervent pleas to divert Him. This section of the Lord's prayer is about aligning myself with God. It is about putting me in the proper mindset to be a follower. Jesus never indicated that following was easy. He often proclaimed it meant a lot of self-denial and self-sacrifice, so following is not my default setting. I must prepare myself for it; I must remind myself that this is my natural position. C. S. Lewis, in his book Miracles, discusses whether Nature exists alone or is, in fact, subject to a greater Supernature. As he closes one of the earlier chapters, he makes this remark: "The elephant may run amuck, Nature may be rebellious. But from observing what happens when Nature obeys it is almost impossible not to conclude that it is her very 'nature' to be a subject. All happens as if she had been designed for that role." Like Nature, so are we, for we are part of Nature; we are part of the created. By asking God to lead us correctly, we are doing exactly what we should be doing: we are offering ourselves up to be led.

I believe I have struggled with the second half of this portion of the prayer due to a misunderstanding of the words "evil" and "deliverance." During the course of my life I have aligned myself with people I should not, manipulated others, manufactured an enormous amount of self-pity, and fed unhealthy desires. Yet, I've always believed God, in some form, existed. Why then has He failed to "deliver my from evil?" I no longer believe He has failed. I believe I have failed to understand the principles involved in this portion of the prayer.
First, 'evil' does not merely reference external pressures, as I always thought it did. The Message reprints the verse this way: "keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil." That's quite different and very eye-opening. Instead of praying for God to act as my shield from a barrage of harmful influences, I am to be praying that I am kept from harming myself. Once again, the prayer becomes less about corralling God to do my bidding and more about reminding myself of my position and my need. I know from experience that I do not know what is good or bad for me. If you give me a knife, I will cut myself (metaphorically speaking), and it is only through a belief that my Higher Power loves me dearly that I beging to experience any sense of self-worth, and with it, self-preservation. But before I can begin to experience healing, I must admit I cannot take care of myself, hence, this section of the Lord's prayer.

Just as I have recently discovered "evil" does not refer only to what might happen to me, so "deliverance" does not refer solely to God's actions. There are many methods of deliverance. I have assumed, naively, that it meant God would swoop in, like Indiana Jones on his bullwhip, pick me up out of the quicksand and swing me safely up to a ledge out of harm's way. Why I made these assumptions as a young adult, I do not know, but the theme is clear. I have consistently (and erroneously) believed that I was a victim of life, and God's job was to save me from circumstances out of my control. Deliverance from evil was never an action I participated in. I, through simply living life, would get into a fix, and I could only hope God would come and make all better. Obviously, I believed God's natural inclination, then, is to do nothing! No wonder I claimed to be a Diest for several years. Not only did I think God, in his unaltered state, was non-responsive, but that all of my earnest pleas and efforts had never once seduced God to come in and rescue me. I, therefore, must be worthless, or broken, or ineffective. This produced a bitter resentment towards God and the system of Christianity that had left me feeling empty. What I did not understand was this: I am given many methods of deliverance, if only I reach out and make use of what I have been supplied. I am like a diver who has refused to breath from his tank yet claimed he was being cheated out of air.

First and foremost, my reason is a method. I have not wanted to accept the responsibility of knowing what I should and should not do, for that naturally requires me to own all of my actions. Reason can be corrupted, as mine has been due to my life choices, but when my spirit is being "led" by God, I can know what I should and should not do and I can find strength in that knowledge. Reason, C. S. Lewis philosophizes in Miracles, is a connection to the Divine, for it is a connection to Truth, and that must be found outside of our realm. Our ability to reason is one of the ways in which we are created in God's image. Milton, in his epic Paradise Lost, says much the same thing. In Book IX, Satan, disguised as the serpent, is attempting to seduce Eve, but he has to make several attempts, for she sees through his arguments and rebuts him more than once. The serpent, though, is persistent and eventually convinces her to come see this fruit that has given him speech. She follows him, and is discouraged to find it is the tree she is not allowed to eat from, saying,

"But of this tree we may not taste nor touch;

God so commanded, and left that command

Sole daughter of his voice; the rest, we live

Law to ourselves, our reason is our law."

Because they walked and talked with God, Adam and Eve had a connection to ultimate Truth, and this Truth could be arrived at through their reason. They knew God, and they knew his likes and dislikes, so they were able to reason out what they should and should not do. But what happens when our reason is corrupted, and we are aware of this? What happens when we get into a situation in which we feel powerless, or are unable to make correct decisions due to a lack of strength, or a lack of wisdom? The English Renaissance-era poet John Donne acknowledges this situation in his poem "Batter My Heart Three Person God" when he writes,

"Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend

But is captive, and proves weak or untrue.

I love thee, and would be loved willingly

But am betrothed unto your enemy"

Why doesn't God swoop in and save us then? It's a good question, and one I have asked for a long time. The answer lies in community. For the first time in my life I have a strong community of Christian men around me, who intimately know me, and who genuinely care. We have grown together over the course of a year in a Bible study, and this allows us to be pillars of strength for each other. So, what does one do when faced with a problem he/she cannot solve? Make a phone call. Call a brother, or call a sister and find help. Relieve yourself of the pressure of having to face the issue alone. Life is too big, and our needs to deep-seated to journey solo. It simply is impossible. It will wear you down and cause anxiety and loneliness which in turn leads to a sense of entitlement and ownership over other people and objects.

What is a good book? Ideas pulled from "The Picture of Dorian Gray."

2009-06-29T17:31:00.010-04:00

I recently wrote a summary of The Picture of Dorian Gray in preparation for the upcoming school year in which I'll be a teaching it to a senior class. The summary is a synthesis of my annotations, thoughts, and analysis of the book and its implications, one of which I wanted to share here:

The novel opens with Wilde’s personal treatise on art. Wilde, who wrote towards the end of the Romantic period and before the Modern period, situated himself in the Decadent movement, which originated in France and espoused a purely aesthetic view of art. In Wilde’s own words, “there is no such thing as an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. That is all.” The artist, thought Wilde, was a “creator of beautiful things.” Beauty, then, lay in the form and craft of the art (be it a poem, a novel, or a painting), with the content mattering not at all. Wilde concludes his treatise acknowledging that “all art is quite useless,” meaning it is useless for study and personal improvement. This makes interpreting The Picture of Dorian Gray rather tricky, as the novel appears to be very moral indeed.

In contrast to this, the educated 18th century novelist and literary critic Samuel Johnson believed that authors had a duty to produce works of art that were not only well crafted by morally sound. He believed that art, free from the constraints of being historical, should “exhibit the most perfect idea of virtue; of virtue not angelical, nor above probability, for what we cannot credit we shall never imitate, but the highest and purest that humanity can reach." In other words, since we can create whatever we want in fiction, what we create should be of the utmost value because “it is always a writer’s duty to make the world better.”

To go even further, let us examine a third author. In An Experiment on Criticism, C. S. Lewis writes that a true work of literature must be a complex combination of both Logos (something said, what the work means), and Poiema (something made, what the work is). He chastises any literature that is only one of the two, and any reader who only sees or pursues one of the two above the other. We are not to read only beautiful fluff, nor are we to read morally dense but badly written works for the sole purpose of self-betterment. The first is escapism and the second is mere exercise with no true sense of pleasure. “Good reading,” concludes Lewis, “though it is not essentially an affectional or moral or intellectual activity, has something in common with all three."

The question is then presented to us, here in the present day: which of these three do we side with? Are they right in some way and wrong in others? Does any one of these men have an answer that is closer to the reality than another one of them?

This Isn't Your Grandfather's Bed-Ridden, Boring Star Trek Anymore...

2009-05-11T09:50:00.027-04:00

J. J. Abrams, the director of the new Star Trek film, had a difficult job: make people notice his new Star Trek movie was good before they dismiss it as "not Star Trek enough." His technique? Begin with little fanfare: no voice over ("Space, the final frontier..."), no swelling Trek-ish music theme, no complex political setup, just an opening scene that puts the viewer smack into a armrest-grabbing situation. As origin stories go, this is one of the smartest. Through a clever plot device, this movie pays homage to original Star Trek canon while giving itself liberty to do whatever it wants, but Abrams doesn't throw away the old for the new as most re-makes do. Through thoughtful tweaks he keeps the original feel, look and spirit while making it more appealing (and believable) for 21st century movie goers.

In short, this is a class "A" adventure. It's 120 minutes of non-stop fun, and it manages to capture the essence of the series while finally ditching the snail's pace plotting and direction that have plagued the franchise ever since the politically focused, hum-drum utopia of Star Trek: The Next Generation. After this film, watching any post-60's Trek (series or movies) will be difficult as they'll all appear to be on a heavy dose of valium. This Star Trek differs from the movies of the past in a very significant way in that it was marketed as being the brainchild of the director, J. J. Abrams. Tying the movie itself to the talent and energy of the director is a bold move that Trek has never done, but can serve a franchise well when the director is truly talented (the new Batman and Spider-man franchises have done the same to great success). Star Trek, as a property, has always been hampered by a personality. While Gene Roddenbury was alive he always had the final say, and after he passed on Rick Berman took over, and tried very very hard to drive the franchise into obscurity. Apparently, between then and now, Paramount actually woke up and realized they had a terrific little story on their hands once the fat could be trimmed. Enter J. J. Abrams, who places his unique stamp on every frame of this movie. His energy and enthusiasm for fun storytelling infuses every shot, from the sometimes-stretched-and-warped perspective, to the copious use of lens flares (try to find a scene on the Enterprise without one, I dare you. I haven't, by the way, ever seen lens flares used like this in a movie. Have there been?). He makes the film feel "new" by making it feel like it was shot off the dolly, using only natural light. This is a huge contrast from the boring, lets-track-down-the-corridor-at-eye-height camera style thats been the staple of everything Trek since Next Generation. Go back and re-watch the old show from the 60s then turn on an episode of TNG and see which one this film feels more like. Back in the 60s, on the Desilu sound stage, Roddenbury and his team created what, now, looks like the garage-rock of TV. Tilted cameras, bizarre lighting (I mean it was the 60s), and funky close-ups give the original show an energy the franchise lost in the mid-90s.

You can't have Star Trek without the Enterprise, and this time she is designed, apparently, by Apple, Inc. God, she's pretty. And she can move. She can actually move, not just hang in space, and that's thanks to Sulu's piloting skill. Which brings me to the crew, who now play a vital role on the Enterprise. The crew on previous Star Trek films (and shows) always felt ancillary, there only in case the Enterprise happened to break down, so the movies devolved into people talking forever because there was nothing for them to actually do. In Abrams' Trek, Sulu can pilot the hell out of that big ship, and he needs to (I can't tell you why, but its a great scene). Chekov is a theoretical physics wizard (rivaled only by Spock), and he needs to be since he's the navigator, forced to deal with the complex issues of space travel. Uhuru is brilliant and charasmatic, not just an operator waiting for someone to dial "0" on the galactic phone. McCoy (played brilliantly by Karl Urban. Abrams coaxed some amazing acting from these folks), likewise, is shown to be a phobic-ridden, high-strung, but well-versed doctor, and Scotty an accomplished, if somewhat underachieving, engineer-in-waiting. The movie goes out of its way to illustrate how complex operating the Enterprise and dealing with unpredictable situations are, and that every opinion, every crew member, is necessary. If the studio doesn't have their heads up their backsides they'll sign Abrams and the cast for at least two more and give the director free reign. Statistically, the chance the studio DOESN'T have its head where the sun don't shine is low, so there might be a flurry of mediocre to pathetic sequels coming out in next few years, but who cares? We've finally gotten the best Trek film we've ever had.

A Long Respite

2009-01-18T23:16:00.005-05:00

I'm not even sure anyone still reads this. Hell, it hasn't been updated in two months. The computer at Google reads it when I post, so maybe it'll get a kick out of these pictures. Won't you, Mike? (That's a sci-fi novel joke for the uninitiated).

I'll be doing a pro-bono fashion/head shot/photo shoot for a gal in our church in about a week, so I figured it was high time to get back into the habit of shooting.

Liz and I did a little photo shoot this evening, even getting to capture a few flakes of snow as it fell outside. Below are a few from our evening with the camera. If you like them, check out the rest at my Zenfolio site. You can even guy a print there if you wanted.

"Quantum of Solace" review

2008-11-28T14:28:00.004-05:00

"I find you disturbingly efficient," says the new Bond girl to James about half-way through the film. The shocking truth here is that this is really a description of the film itself as much as it is the film's titular character. Bouncing from one action sequence to the next, pausing only long enough to have two very truncated, rushed "character" conversations, Quantum of Solace feels like someone edited out the actual movie in a rush to make an action picture. The good news is that the title sequence is the best a Bond film has had, well, ever, and the song (written by Jack White) totally rocks.

Now, I'm not a Bond fan, so I suppose it's easy to assume my review is going to be biased, which is why I'll say you can judge this film by "Bond standards" and still feel it comes up lacking. "Bond standards" are assumptions and givens a viewer takes with himself into a Bond movie: a) Bond is a super-hero, not a man; b) Bond's motivations are clearly laid out; c) Bond's motivations and desires never change. Frankly, I find it rather hard to accept any character that never changes or truly feels emotional responsibility as good writing, but I'm trying to think like a Bond-ite for a second. Anyway, even by those standards this movie feels robotic. This Bond has none of the grace of Connery, none of the charm of Brosnon, and none of the wit of any Bond. Doing away with one-liners and gadgets was a deliberate decsion in Casino Royal to return Bond to a more "normal" universe. Royal balanced these omitions out by giving Bond an actual character arc. This movie, though, has none of the above: no gadgets, no arc, no quips. In Quantum, he's Robocop, storming from one location to the next killing people, wreaking havoc, and all the while maintaining an emotionless, stoic countenance. He shows no fear, no anger, no sorrow. The one time he gets some from the fairer sex no attempt is even made to charm his way into the girl's pants. It's as if the film-makers couldn't be bothered to write that days' page and in its place the script said, "INT: HOTEL, Bond enters, looks around then tells her to 'do it.' Then they do it." Seriously, folks, he basically struts in and commands her to sleep with him, as if his mere presence is so authoritative he can dissolve any hesitation (or morality) a female might have. Bond has always had the mojo to seduce (a fact Austin Powers mocked to great success), but at least he put some effort into it in the old days. His efforts were clumsy, teenage versions of romance, but at least it was something.

I'd like to make a comparison here by bringing up that Bond's box-office competitor, Jason Bourne, was betrayed by his government and all those people he wanted to trust, yet he retained an emotional center. He was out to get certain people, sure, but not the whole damn world. How childish, then, does this make Bond? Bond cared for someone, she turned on him, so now he's out to punish the universe by seeing everyone as a mere object (the men he kills, the women he beds). He works for his own ends, essentially, under the guise of being a British agent who cares about British interests. He's a child throwing a temper tantrum. This Bond is a pure brute with no depth. The Hulk has Banner to balance him out and create conflict, Robocop had his human side, the T-101 has a re-programming, but Bond has neither. Imagine just the Hulk with no Banner, or Robocop with no hint of humanity. What's the point? It's rather hard to give Bond any leeway after the Bourne films showed that action movies can have a lead with a genuine character arc. You know what? If Bond is wish fullfilment I am rather unsettled about what our wishes just might be.

Frogtown Wedding

2008-10-27T18:48:00.004-04:00

I got to shoot a wedding yesterday at Frogtown Wineries in Dahlonega, GA. I shot for another company in town. They wanted to try me out. Depending on their schedule, they might hire me (yeah, money!) as a second camera for a few weddings in November. Here' a few shots from it!

Model Shoot

2008-10-15T04:03:00.004-04:00

I got to do a model shoot in conjunction with the Atlanta Photographer's Guild. It's a casual, come if you wish affair at a pub, but it does provide cool opportunities. Here are some of the pictures I got from it. I'm extremely happy with these, and feel confident that these could land me much bigger work.

Now, I just need clients. *sigh*

FlashFocus Photography

2008-10-13T23:30:00.003-04:00

By now most of you know I have started my own business. For those who don't, let me explain what is happening. I've been shooting film for 8 years and since I don't have steady work right now I figured now is as good a time as any to begin doing it professionally.

Well, FlashFocus Photography is up and running now. We have two websites: Our business website and our art gallery where we have prints for sell. Here's hoping this venture works. I like the hours.

LOTR Mini-Movies

2008-09-19T21:56:00.002-04:00

This is some funny LOTR stuff. You have to let them load, it might take a bit, but when it does the little silent movie will play. Click here for the first one and here for the second one.

For All You Patriots

2008-09-18T19:42:00.002-04:00

Enjoy:

Medium Format

2008-09-18T16:24:00.009-04:00

I took my first roll with my Diana F+ medium format film camera. Below are the awesome results. And, no, these really haven't been photoshopped. I corrected a little color in the picture of the tree and pushed two into black and white, but what you see is really what you get.

I need the D300 for my professional, payed jobs but the Diana and my Nikon FG1 -- those are for me. Nothing compares to the organic beauty you get with film, especially this medium format film with the toy cameras.

Test Run, What Fun

2008-09-17T22:04:00.003-04:00

I got my camera equipment in today. It's luscious. It's a Nikon D300.

Anyway, although it came with a decent lens (18-200/f3.5), I'm looking forward to when my automatic focus 50mm/f1.4 arrives! I've never had a lens that fast before.

Well, tonight I slapped the old manual focus 50mm/f1.8 lens on the D300 and managed to get better shots inside and without the flash than I ever expected.

Look What I'm Doing

2008-09-04T15:36:00.003-04:00

This is my response to being so unproductive. Liz thought I would be good at it and that I could treat it as a form of therapy. I start my lessons on Monday but I am already working on my C and D major scales. It, by the way, is a Fender Squire I found used with a Peavey bass amp for pretty cheap.

My Big Post of FAIL

2008-08-07T01:25:00.009-04:00

I stole most of these from failblog.org.

Intelligence fail.

Ladie's night fail.

Steering fail.

Safety fail.

Bull fail.

Daredevil fail.

Massive tank fail.

Spare tire fail.

Weight limit fail.

Builder fail.

Bike lane fail.

Sleeping arrangement fail.

Efficient move fail.

Kick ball fail.

Bike lane fail #2.

Serious teabag fail.

Master electrician fail.

Jesus light switch fail.

Dog fail.

Lamp post fail.

Navigation fail.

Holy crap fail.

Anatomy fail.

Adequate cover fail.

Life

2008-08-04T13:50:00.001-04:00

Fuck.

Final Days

2008-06-25T23:50:00.006-04:00

Tomorrow will be our last day at ECC. We're tired and ready to come home so this is a big relief. Still, it will be sad, no doubt about it.

Last Saturday we got invited to have dinner with Sophie and her parents. Sophie is seven, and a very advanced English speaker for her age.

She lived in Australia for 10 months while her mother obtained some ESL certifications (her mom is fluent also). Anyway, Liz has been tutoring Sophie one on one for several months and to say thanks Sophie's parents cooked us dinner.

While we were talking to her parents during dinner (well, to her mom, her dad doesn't speak English) Sophie got a hold of my phone and decided it was time to take some pictures...about 20 of them to be exact. Here are the highlights -- yes, they're ALL of herself :-p ....

And here's our favorite:

After dinner they took us to a little sea-side/boardwalk Carnival in Incheon we never knew was here! That was a lot of fun. Sophie's dad and I got a little sick riding the Viking ship together.

Tuesday night was my final class with ICB2, a class that had the two most fluent students I teach: Stephanie and Diana. I really enjoyed getting to know them and teach them and when I went to class on Tuesday I found this:

The girls had set up a going away party for me complete with music (Stephanie DJ-ed), a candle, and snacks. We drank some bubbly apple juice, played some chess, and listened to Steph's loud electronic music (hey, she likes Daft Punk, Air and Chemical Brothers!). When you have a class of all girls and they throw party its inevitable they'll focus more on the clothing than the party itself. Hence, these costumes:

Turns out it was a "silly clothes" party. I didn't really have silly clothes so they decided that the Korean co-teacher (Joshua) and myself should get a little eye shadow on. Josh was a good sport :-) ... I'll miss him too.
Sometime during all the hull-a-ba-loo Christine grabbed my phone and took a "scary" candle picture:
It was so much fun. I had been teaching three of them (Jenny, Diana, and Stephanie) for the full year so after the party was over I cried a little bit.

Being Mr. Professor

2008-05-20T09:42:00.005-04:00

I decided to give some of my more advanced students the test all efficient English speakers must undergo. It's scientific, systematic, and proven to cure chronic migraines or your money back -- just apply directly to the forehead. It's that wonderful invention: the tongue twister.

While I can't take pictures of my students suffering through the dramatic tale of Peter Piper and his obsession with picking those damned pickled peppers, I can show you pictures of my posse following me while I tried to look them up on the internet!

#1: This is Jenny. She's 15 (about to turn 16 as she likes to point out) and in my oldest class, ICB2. These students are among some of my best listeners in terms of skill level. Jenny's a great student: very sweet, very kind, playful, and we get along well. I've taught her the entire year and I'll miss her a lot.

#2: This is Fiona and Christine. I believe they're about 12. Still, they are in NTMK, one of the advanced student classes, aimed at pushing them harder and faster than the normal curriculum would. Fiona especially is a great student and the most capable writer in the class.

#3: This is Stephanie and...well, the back of Diana. Both of them are 15 (I think) and in my ICB2 class. These two are by far the single best speakers, listeners, and writers in the entire school. Diana even lived in Oregon for 6 months. They're both great girls. We have tons of fun in our speech class since all we do is talk about music, trade music, listen to music, make jokes and act silly. They decided to start their own entertainment act known as MC Max Poopy (Stef) and DJ PoopyPants (Diana). Yes, they think those words are absolutely hilarious. I don't have the heart to make it too serious. They are often extremely tired since they go to school from 8am to 10pm. Can you believe that?

You might be saying to yourself: where are the boys? Good question. More girls than boys are in the school, and beyond that the girls typically are more fun, easier to deal with, and more appreciative of your efforts. That's not 100% true -- there are some boys I will dearly miss, but by and large it tends to be a general rule.

A Post On "Bad" Words

2008-05-12T03:49:00.004-04:00

"Dirty" words: they change from culture to culture, so what is it about them that makes them "evil"? The Christin community is hyper aware of the proliferation of "bad" words in all kinds of media. It's a sensitive issue, and we should all be sensitive to each other's position on something like this. I know a lot of movies I really love I can't recommend without a "language" disclaimer. This topic effects different Christians in different ways. With that said, I've pondered on this issue for quite some time. What types of sins, for example, does the evangelical church confuse as being Biblical that are simply cultural or personal? I believe drinking alcohol is one. Dancing is another. Is this one of them? It's not that I feel the church intentionally or actively deceives me or anyone else, but like every institution the evangelical church has sculpted a culture for itself, and it is within the boundaries of this culture the church feels most comfortable. Also, when you're dealing with populations as big as you have within the church system it can also be a matter of logistics: its just simpler to to tell people to stay away from X no matter what, then to assume that X might be okay under certain conditions.

Andrew Peterson, a talented Christian singer/song-writer, has posted this essay on the subject I think bears a lot of attention. It's lengthy, but it really gets to the crux of the matter. Peterson turns the issue into a heart issue, not a vocabulary issue. If you're doing it out of laziness because you don't want to find other words, then isn't that a sin of the heart? Isn't laziness a sin? If you're doing it to direct your anger at someone and wish them a bad life, then that, Biblically, is a curse -- and that's wrong. But if you're about to fall off a cliff, or you hit your hammer with a thumb, or you just found out you owe the government $10,000 a colorful metaphor isn't going to be looked down on by God I'm sure. Conversely, Peterson points out that you can curse someone without "bad" words as well ("I hate you.") and still claim, according to the modern definition, that you didn't "curse" at them. You did, Biblically, you just didn't use the words we focus in on so much.

C. S. Lewis also puts in his two cents (though I can't remember which book, I believe it's Mere Christianity) in relation to taking the Lord's name in vain. I'll have to paraphrase here. Lewis discusses what it means to use the Lord's name and how it was used in the Old Testament as something like a business card, proving your station. If Moses or Jeremiah ended their little speech with, "Thus sayeth the Lord" it was serious business and they were showing they were, in effect, coming from the Head Office to give God's message, not their own. Thus, in the Epistles, Paul gets pretty ticked when he discovers there are people running around claiming to giving God's message but they're just making it up. I think of the Catholic Church of the middle ages when I think about that kind of abuse. We can all agree that is wrong.

This, Lewis says is using God's name in vain. You are claiming God's authority for your own, aligning your personal goals with God's and in some way elevating your own importance. Lewis says that while this is much more dangerous and deadly (it could, effectively, be used to mis-lead whole congregations) we seem to be much more angry and aware of those who simply say "G-damnit" -- not a good saying to be sure, and one we should steer clear of -- but the anger we hold for the verbal phrase should be turned to the false speakers, not to the lazy, foul mouthed.

A Guitar Hero

2008-05-04T10:30:00.006-04:00

Nostalgia time. I figured that since I'm here for another 8 weeks I should systematically talk abut my friends. The people we know help make us who we are, so it feels natural to spend some time discussing the few people I feel are truly A+++ that I've met.

I'm listening to the instrumental guitarist Buckethead tonight and it reminded me of my life about six years ago. Six years ago, in 2002, I was living in Norcross with Mark. Neither of us liked our jobs, but we liked our life. We had a great apartment. We had our copy of "The Prayer of Jabez" positioned strategically in the fire place as a conversation starter should any church folk come over as well as our "Tao of Elvis" book just for laughs, and if we knew better we would have known life would never be as generally carefree or simply as it was then. We would take walks. We would play video games. We would put mugs in the freezer, fill them with cheap (affordable) beer then take them with us to the complex pool at midnight, collectively breaking every rule concerning night swimming and open containers.

So why did Buckethead remind me of Mark? Because some nights I would be sitting around, possibly playing a game, and hear a guitar. Mark's one hell of a player, and every now and then he would pull it out and play something. My favorite was when he played through Phil Keaggy's Beyond Nature stuff.

Let me talk about Mark. During my incarceration in Gainesville, Georgia I met Mark on a church retreat for the "adult singles" of Lakeside Baptist Church. This is circa 2000. His first words to me? "Hey man, do you sleep on your stomach?" It was a friendship made in heaven as I, now quite nervous, replied, "Not tonight!" Mark found this hilarious. I found Mark slightly scary, but it was all bravado.

To picture Mark you must imagine, if you will, something like a cross between The Dude and Mother Theresa. He's laid back to the point of appearing chemically sedated while possessing a truly kind spirit.

It's hard not to like Mark. He doesn't pursue friends, they end up sticking to him like glue as he meanders through his daily life. He's married now, living in Gaines-vegas, and is having a grand old time -- he always seems to be having a good time. Does anything get under his skin? Possibly, but he rarely shows it....a trait I need to learn. He's always the one who asks, "What do you want to do?" (I'm the guy who always answers).

This White Russian's for you. Thanks for being there for me.

Spring Is Here and so are the PeePee Balloons

2008-05-01T00:03:00.010-04:00

I finally found a little patch of grass by our apartment! No small feat!

But now I'm happy and I can sit outside somewhere and read.

My new fix is the Kings of Convenience, a wonderful little Simon and Garfunkle-esque trio that one of my Korean students told me about believe it or not. You can download it or listen to it here.

So, check out what I found in a little out-of-the-way grocery store the other day:

Don't those look a bit suspicious? Hmmmmmm? They look balls to me.

I found this picture and loved it. Can you get more '80s? I remember when I wanted my room like this, complete with Nintendo Power magazine.

The 2nd Greatest American Hero

2008-02-14T19:42:00.003-05:00

The greatest American hero ever -- Superman -- doesn't have a movie scheduled to come out till Summer 2009.

But on May 2nd, the second greatest American hero has a new film after an absence of 18 years. Check out the trailer for Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!

Take my Indy quiz! Leave a comment and tell me which is your favorite Indy movie!
A) Raiders of the Lost Ark
B) Temple of Doom
C) The Last Crusade

Korean Monument Destroyed

2008-02-12T07:01:00.000-05:00

The Namdaemun Gate has been in Korea for 600 years. Once part of the wall surrounding the palace and the capital, it was a military post, meant to help spot attacks.

Now, it's a charred heap of burnt wood. This is an international story, with English coverage here. Liz and I just visited this (by accident) last month while in Seoul to go to the art museum.

Try A New Kind Of Movie

2008-02-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

With huge pictures like the Pirates series, and the garbled mess that was Spider-man 3, good films often get over shadowed.

I wanted to bring a little gem to the attention of everyone who reads this. It's a documentary called Billy The Kid and you can click the link to watch the trailer. More than likely, it wont' be playing at a theater near you, unless you live in a major artsy theater area (namely New York, L.A., San Fran or Austin) so you'll have to check it out on DVD.

If you want to try out some new films keep checking back. I'll post information here about great movies you might have missed off and on.

Good Things Come In Litte Packages

2008-02-04T06:17:00.000-05:00

UPDATE 2/6/08:

I needed to show you these pictures. The first is the coat --- highly philosophical --- of one my fifth grade students. It tells you quite a lot about Cookie Monster, who I thought was a one note character. It reads: Cookie Monster Is A Deeply Complicated Individual

This one needs know introduction. Just.....wow.

Life is full of surprises. I've struggled this year to deal with my younger students. I don't come across as very "in charge" if you catch my meaning. My father, for example, can walk into a room and command it. I walk into a room and tend to attract a talkative type of attention. That's not the kind of attention you want in a classroom. I tend to rule via sarcasm, not a stern presence, so I work best here with the more fluent students ... the older ones.

Anyway, last month I was given one of the youngest classes in the school. Wake Up 1A is the starting book for all new students. It is the basic of the basic. I was pretty dismayed. These kids are between six to eight American years old and so energetic I need extra coffee to get through it, but they're good kids. They're happy to be here. They're excited. I like 'em! So, here they are below, complete with names. Candy, the youngest of the class, follows me around the school whenever she is not in class, grabbing onto the back of my shirt or holding my hand -- she's great so I got some extra pictures with just her.

In other news, I just got a phone call from a University outside Seoul that had two openings for March. That's painful news! Our contract isn't up until June so we can't accept, but it's exactly what we're looking for: 14 hours a week work time, more money, apartment, plane tickets, etc. Just pray for us as our contract nears the end. We're shooting for grabbing a job as Universities try to hire for August...the start of the school year. It's a crap shoot, because it's all who you know.

My music recommendation: I've been on an alt-country, blue grass kick lately. It's the one type of music that feels truly American anymore. No other country can replicate it. The best band I've heard of this type lately is HEM. You can read about their records here. They have three albums: Rabbit Songs, Eveningland, and Funnel Cloud, with the latter generally being considered their best (though its hard to beat Eveningland in terms of sheer beauty -- their version of "Jackson" is amazing). I recommend you download them from iTunes or buy the CDs and check them out.

Entrapment

2008-01-02T22:21:00.000-05:00

I'm not even sure what to say about this other than to post a link and draw attention to this story. Perhaps you've heard of this already? What do you think? Do you find this to be entrapment? Why are our police forces trying to coerce people into committing crimes so we can arrest them? Why don't they simply wait for a crime to be committed before they make an arrest?

I might be wrong, but this feels like a slippery slope for me.

NASCAR: Under The Hood + Freedom Tower

2008-01-01T05:44:00.000-05:00

Dad,

I think you'll like this.

And everyone will like this:

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T22:14:00.000-05:00

It's 2008!My gin and tonic and I salute the new year and wish you all a good one....
My new year's resolution is to become a famous rapper. Below is my new "image" and my "rapper name." What do you think?

Happy new year! Much peace and love to all my fams and peeps on the...errr...street.

...Like A Sore Thumb

2007-12-31T07:42:00.001-05:00

I finally made it to the doctor about me thumb. He took one look and sent my to the dermatologist upstairs who injected my thumb with some numbing drugs, did some doctor stuff while I didn't look, wrapped it up, gave me 3 days worth of anti-biotics and told me to come back on Wednesday. Yeah! My video gaming was really starting to suffer. That's unacceptable.

You can see how happy I am to have it on the mend. I'll post updates. Anyway, Little Miss Limelight here couldn't stand to have my handsome beard and glorious thumb bandage command so much attention in the pictures so she decided to butt in....

What a goober-head. :-p

We Finally Went Outside

2007-12-29T08:12:00.002-05:00

What I'm Listening To: The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance
Mood: My thumb hurts (more on this later)
Awesomeness Leve1 (1-10): 11

We get a few days off for New Years so that, along with some tickets we were given to the Seoul Museum of Art, got our lazy butts out of the door. We got some terrific pictures.

We started by getting our picture taken in the parking lot. Mom, you wanted some pictures of us:

Coming off the subway in downtown Seoul (the City Hall stop, Ryan) we made a wrong turn going to the Seoul museum of art and found the following cultural monument:

It was a fortress...or part of one. It stood as part of wall, with this being one of the gates.

We went to the Seoul Museum of Art because they were featuring a very high profile Vincent Van Gogh show. Since we couldn't take pictures inside, here is the one of me at the entrance:

The Van Gogh exhibit was neat indeed. Liz would be a little more verbose in describing his style and which pictures she liked. My favorite was Portrait of Joseph Roulin and even though this one wasn't there, I think that might have made it to #1. Van Gogh has some stuff I would love to put in my house. He's whimsical and amusing but I wouldn't call his paintings "moving." They're just too....bright. Eh, well, I like the movie Tommy Boy, so what do I know.

After the museum we went to a palace the Korean king once used, only we had to make a quick stop beforehand. First, we went to NUDL NUDL.
Apparently, here they have nudl nudl girls, and since I have never seen a nudl girl this was a great opportunity (it was supposed to say "nude"). Following that, we decided to chill at the Doobee building *wink wink*. Oh yes, the Doobee building. They have a whole building for that here. I think, though, that there is a secret passcode because when I walked in giving the guards high-fives and saying "Roll it up, bro!" they looked at me askance and quickly ushered us off the premises. Here is a close up:
After the great Nudle/Doob adventure we made it to the palace. Here you can see the entrance and a life size representation of Emporer...mmmm...I don't know his name...Palpatine.

It's hard to describe the grounds. The layout is a little complex and I'm not really sure what each building was for since I didn't read the pamphlet they gave us.

This ended up being one of my favorites:

The fire extinguisher was actually from the original palace. They were very advanced:

Here's a great shot. There were figures carved out of metal on each corner of the buildings:

As for my thumb, well, it doesn't seem to be getting better. I'm going to the doctor on Monday and hoping he can give me something to take care of the infection.

Flight Of The Concords

2007-11-17T12:35:00.000-05:00

I was pointed in the direction of New Zealand's 4th most popular folk parody bands, Flight of the Concords, so I thought I would share what I think are their two funniest songs!

Hiphopopotomas vs. Rhymenoceras

The Humans are Dead

Let's Learn With Brule

2007-11-04T03:13:00.001-05:00

Dr. Brule on Leaves

Dr. Brule on Fire

Dr. Brule on Milk

The Golden Compass and a Proper Response

2007-10-27T22:30:00.000-04:00

Recently, I was emailed an article from a concerned Christian friend that talked about a new movie coming out called "The Golden Compass," and linked to this article.

The author of these books might be a menace, but the subject I wish to discuss is slightly different. I can appreciate the real possibility of this authors intentions. The article, complete with quotes (which I appreciated), did make me raise my eyebrows. J. K. Rowling, for example, was never malicious towards religion, so that gave the Harry Potter books a general feeling of playfulness with interesting morals lessons at the center, and have even prompted discussions with my students here: "Was Harry right in feeling this way?" etc. This new author, though, seems to be purposefully attempting to push a bad agenda.

The issue I wish to raise is that the Christian community, as a community, is soon going to suffer from a case of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. It simply needs to be more discerning. This author could very well be a troublemaker; he could be a Wolf. But if many other frenzied stands the church makes turn out to be over-reactions, then won't others assume its not a wolf this time but just an ugly sheep maybe? I can remember the church having a problem with "The Little Mermaid" due to the fact it "featured a child rebelling against their parent's wishes." I don't want to stoop to silly elementary language but I can only think to respond, "Oh, please. That's stupid." Remember the Harry Potter fiasco -- all the stink raised there? That really stopped those books didn't it? No, it just made the church look reactionary, and most Christians I talk to still have not read them yet try very hard to discuss how evil they are. And there are many other examples as well. But you can see my point? I am concerned with how Christians present their cause to the world, and its done rather sloppily. Let's make sure something is truly a danger before we lash out at it. Maybe "The Golden Compass" is, and from what I've read about the author, it might be. I, for one, would be wary of listening to the talking points of the community based on their track record.

Christians need to do a better job of advocating education. Perhaps this author is a bad deal. I still want to read his books for myself so I can know exactly why. Why is a very important question. If you know why, many things in life are made clear and you don't fall prey to listening to someone else's opinion. The Christian community seems to have grown comfortable relying on the talking points from the pulpit or other Christian leaders. That's dangerous and very very bad for future generations.

Dr. James Dobson Oversteps His Station

2007-10-04T22:38:00.000-04:00

The past two Presidential elections have been pivatol ones and the 2008 election looks to be no different. It will be a heated race, making it important for voters to decide which issues are truly the most important ones. So, it is with not a small amount of irritation I discover Dr. James Dobson, who runs Focus On the Family in Colorado Springs, wrote an Op-Ed piece for the New York Times on Wednesday, Oct. 4th entitled "The Value Test" in which he says that, "If neither of the two major political parties nominates an individual who pledges himself or herself to the sanctity of human life, we will join others in voting for a minor-party candidate. Those agreeing with the proposition were invited to stand. The result was almost unanimous."

Dobson, who is a prominent leader among evangelical Christians, is pushing to make abortion the only issue that matters in this election. But Dobson is not an unintelligent man. He must realize the impact he, and other Christian leaders, can have on voting decisions, and he also must understand that if a large percentage of the evangelical community completely abstain from voting for the GOP the democratic candidate will probably be handed the election. No minor party is going to win, so Dobson is willing to sacrafice an election for the sake of one ideal.

I find this both irresponsible and arrogant. Tow our line or we'll give the election over to the opposite side? That's not an attitude a man in Dobson's position should have. Yes, abortion issues are important, but you can't make an entire voting policy out of this one issue. What about economics, foreign policy, domestic safety from international threats, education, big business, etc, etc, etc. I have no idea how evangelical leaders got it into their heads that a man will be a great President as long as he is solid on one issue alone. Saving babies is important but where's the win if, in the long run, our country is destroyed or bankrupt because the President's other policies and skills just weren't up to snuff? In the article Dobson goes on to say, "I firmly believe that the selection of a president should begin with a recommitment to traditional moral values and beliefs. Those include the sanctity of human life, the institution of marriage, and other inviolable pro-family principles. Only after that determination is made can the acceptability of a nominee be assessed." Well, we know where he stands. What I'm wondering is how many of American evangelical Christians share that view? You can't boil down a potential president to such a "value test." Again, they may be very moral, but a horrible leader. Morality and true leadership are not two qualities that automatically go hand in hand. They would be nice to have, but they are not the same. Dobson is over simplyfying the issue, making it one of black and white morality, as so many evangelical Christians tend to do. The desire to preserve positive, healthy values is noble and it should continue, but not at the expense of possible solutions to more immediate threats. Besides, morality and family values cannot be legislated. If the country isn't changing (and the elected president reflects the country's views) then perhaps Dobson and evangelical American leaders should at themselves and what there focuses are.

Dobson should be encouraging his listeners and followers to study and understand each candidates entire platform. He should be educating them on how to truly make the most informed decision. Instead, he is insinuating that all issues are unimportant save one, and so, logically, you need only study and understand one issue. From a non-Christian point of view, this makes Christians look hard-headed, or worse, flat out dumb and out-of-touch.

Dobson has admitted he feels betrayed by the GOP. That's a shame but let's look at it like this:
Gary: Hey, Fred, you've got a stick of dynamite in your back pocket!
Fred: Yeah.
Gary: Why? You'll blow yourself up!
Fred: Because of Louis. I'm tired of Louis. Every time Louis sees me he kicks me in the butt. Well, this time he'll get his.

But then again, Dobson has had a history of being a little myopic. This is the same man who helped launch the (failed) evangelical tirade against Harry Potter, who said Harry Potter was bad because it had trolls, ogers, and other magical beings in it. Heaven forbid. Oh well, Tolkein, sorry. I know you were a believer and all, just like Dobson, but you put the "no-no" characters into your books. Or what about the other great works of literature that include fantastical beings and/or magic: Sir Thomas Malory's "Arthurian Legend?" Or "The Chronicles of Narnia? Or the Greek myths? Kids love those. I did. Forget parenting or the fact that adults should put each story in context, giving it a time and a place and a history.

I don't want to lump all the other evangelical "family leaders" in there with him, and I don't know how many evangelicals actually listen to Dobson, but I can't shake the feeling the entire evangelical community in America hasn't progressed all that much past Dobson's ideas.

In other news, (a) you must absolutely watch this amazingly frank 5 minute talk from Newt Gingrich and (b)UC Berkley has taken a leap forward and posted a lot of their lectures and classes on YouTube. I'm taking an anatomy course right now.

ADDENDUM:
After discussion with a friend, it was brought to my attention that my argument is broken into two parts and that the first part is hypocritical. The two parts I discuss are (1) my irritation over Dobson's call for a third-party vote and (2) his reasons why such a vote should be cast.

It was presented to me Dobson is merely practicing democracy and doing something I would do: rally to a 3rd party should the GOP or Dems abandon any issues, ideals or policies I feel are absolutely necessary, and that it is hypocritical of me to insist Dobson is doing something irresponsible. It's a good point, but I am still undecided. I see what Dobson is doing as akin to laying out threats. By leveraging the power of all his listeners and followers he is trying to sway an entire party to his likings. If I choose not to vote for a party, its just me, one vote. My wife might even vote differently than me. If Dobson makes a personal decision based on conscience that's fine, that's what the voting system is for, but for him to publicize it in this manner stinks of it not being merely personal, but a type of power play. I see him as manipulating his base because he dislikes something. I believe he has a responsibility to the greater good because of his power and the greater good often means making compromises, it means choosing the lesser of two evils. And that is different that one man alone choosing to vote for a different party.

Second, I stand by the fact that I disagree with his reasons why. Boiling down the recipe of a good leader to a moral man is a simplistic view of man himself. Moral issues alone do not a good leader make.

My Classes & Teaching

2007-09-12T10:25:00.000-04:00

Liz and I went hiking up the mountain again this last Sunday (before we got sick) but forgot our camera, so the amazing vista we saw will have to be photographed later. If we get well, you'll get to see it this Sunday.

I took my camera into school today. Most of my classes don't want to be photographed, and in the bigger ones trying to get a picture will be a hassle, but I did manage to get a picture of one of my favorite classes: TMK5, but more of them later.

The first class I tried to get pictures of was Wake Up 4A, a class of about eleven. Wake Up is an elementary text, and the children are usually about 8-11, depending on their ability. As you can see, though, James didn't want to get his picture taken.

I managed to snap one of Greg and John. They're the two smartest in the class, and really get the material.
Before the bell rang, I got Fiona in a picture. She's nine (I think), really quite, sweet, and also one of the best students in the class.

One of the kids snapped a picture of me when I was about to get on to someone else.

My last class of the day today was TMK5. I'm not sure what TMK stands for, but 5 stands for 5th grade. All the kids in it are about 12. There is a TMK6 class I teach too. These are the only two classes that come to ECC every single day of the week, and sometimes on weekends for tests. TMK is a sort of intensive course this ECC instituted to try an compete with other TMK courses in neighboring English academies.

Here they are:
Melody is standing by me. Cara is in front of me, Tony is in the black shirt next to her, Shawn is in the yellow shirt up front, Jack is in glasses behind him, Eddie is next to Jack and in front of Melody, Alex is in the purple and white shirt, and Steven is next to him. Here's another shot:

Here's Steven again. He's a good kid and has a sweet disposition. He always tries to help me out by carrying my stuff to the office after class. When the class gets really noisy and is hard to control, he writes "OH MY GOD" on his paper and holds it up for me to see. ;-pAfter the pictures Cara somehow managed to get herself behind the door. She laughs at anything and thought this was hilarious. So, instead of letting her out, I took a picture.

TMK5 is the youngest of my "older" classes. Between TMK5, TMK6, ICB1/2 and my TOEIC class my older, more advanced students rage from 12 (TMK5) to 15 (TOEIC and ICB2). These are by far my favorite age groups, and more importantly, my favorite performance levels. I've learned what I will be good at and what I won't be good at in the teaching; while I could substitute for a day, do not hire me as an elementary school teacher. Do hire me as an upper level high school English teacher. I can tell I will have fun with the material (which was just pure speculation until recently), and that makes all the difference in the world per one's job performance. If I can have some fun teaching what I can in terms of composition and reading comprehension to these upper level classes, then I know that getting into Shakespeare and Hemingway for American classes will be like a party.

Liz and I have decided that if I can get a university position here, or something teaching adults, or something with less hours for her, we're staying. Otherwise, we're coming back. Truth be told, I would love to stay 1-2 more years (whatever the contract dictated) just to get a good university position here. My resume back in America would look so much better, and I'm nervous about landing a good high school teaching job: at a reputable private school that's not associated with any Protestant churches. That...narrows it down a bit. I think that leaves Catholic, Jewish, and Montessori schools. How do I prove I'm the best English teacher they could hire? I'd like to start somewhere with a decent salary because Liz and I don't want to wait to have children for much longer. I get so worried sometimes. I don't feel like a very good provider.

So, before I depress myself, let's switch too one of my favorite topics: books! I'm trying to keep my mind limber and educated now that I'm out of school (once again) and a world away from an English bookstore. I'm currently reading the "Merchant of Venice," along with Peter Ackroyd's dense Shakespeare: The Biography and select chapters from Reading the Classics with C. S. Lewis. "Hamlet" is next (again!), along with A. C. Bradley's amazing lecture/essay on it in his book Shakespearean Tragedy (published 1913). If you want to read and discuss with me, feel free. I can group-call on Skype! Once my stash of books runs dry though, I might be having some of you ship me various paperbacks if I cna't locate them here (at my expense).

8 Things About Me

2007-08-24T13:58:00.000-04:00

In a more adult form of the high-school "about you" chain letter, I present these 8 things about me. Next blog post: my thoughts on Hemingway's "A Farewell To Arms."

Here are the Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Players start with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their 8 things) and post these rules. (**if you’re a non-blogger, you can e-mail them!)
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 8 people to tag and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them, "you're tagged, now go read my blog."

I got tagged by SLAINTE.

And now... the things:

1. I'm vain. As much as I might present an aw-shucks persona, I generally tend to be rather vain. Finicky about my appearance, and careful about my image, I want to impress as much as I want to fit in. This had to be number one. This post makes it too obvious to not put it as number one.

2. For personal reasons, I have 5 tattoos. In an honestly non-vain move, I have gotten 5 tattoos on my back for extremely personal reasons. Out of sight of anyone I meet, and therefore not included in their judgement of me, I have recorded moments, ideas, or facts I want to keep in my mind. I tend to be a little everywhere at once. Scatterbrained. I dip my toe in every pool. Its nice to have something permanent.

3. I envy talented writers. I like studying Shakespeare, Hemingway, Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, etc. because they could communicate so much that left a mark on the world. Can I? Do I even have anything to say?

4. I adore ambient music. You know Vangelis, the one who composed the soundtrack to "Chariots of Fire," and later "Blade Runner"? Well, my fascination started with Vangelis' "Opera Sauvage" then moved on from there. From Boards of Canada, to Mum to Telfon Tel Aviv, electronic ambient music calms me. It slows me down. It creates images of blissful, personality-filled little city neighborhoods on a sunny day.

5. I miss living two hours from my grandparents. The size of the world inspires wonder, but it also separates. I envy little countries like Korea because they will never know what its like to live more than six to eight hours from anyone else in their own country. Few countries are as big as the United States, and so I wonder how many peoples deal with complete disconnect from their loved ones like we do. When I was a child, a simple two hour drive put me at either grandparent's house. That was wonderful.

6. I secretly want to be a DJ. I even bought one DJ deck, confident I would have the money for the rest of the equipment and that I would soon be spinning at parties and clubs. I got married and had other things to worry about. But I still secretly wish.

7. Nothing beats a house party. My favorite thing in the world is just sitting with friends, listening to music, and drinking a beer. Sure, going out is fun, but some of my favorite moments involve being at a friend's, beer around, good music playing, and laughter.

8. I have a dead tooth. Yes, if you never noticed, it is true. One of my front teeth is dark. I got popped in the mouth as a kid, had a root canal as a teen, but it died on me anyway. So, I forever will have a dark, dead tooth in the front of my mouth.

Here's who I'm tagging:

Tom K., Kathryn K., Barry H., Lauren L., Fragments Of A Creative Mind, Matt C., Mark L.

Meeting Mark Q. & A Big Update

2007-08-19T09:59:00.000-04:00

Liz and I went to the Incheon International Airport today to meet my brother-in-law (Robert's) father, Mark. Yeah! Friends from home! Anyway, the first time we were at the airport we were too tired to notice how pretty it was, but today, coming off the train we entered the Great Hall and took this shot (it looks real nice full size):

They even have a garden in the Great Hall:
Isn't that cool? The airport is very new, very sleek, very modern. It's also not as nearly the zoo that Hartsfield is it's much easier to enjoy. But then we met up with Mark, who was here fro a conference. It was nice to see him!

A couple weeks ago, before the big party, we started exploring the miles and miles of hiking trails back here behind our apartment.

I could have cheated. That could be a shot from some forest in Georgia, but I promise it's a genuine Korean forest. Anyway, during our walk we stumbled upon this little poor village and got these shots:

And saw this on the way out -- this symbol is everywhere here. It's interesting, being a Westerner, what it means to me and what it doesn't mean to them here:

Oh, What A Night

2007-08-12T04:45:00.000-04:00

A story in which our heroes have a great time, and develop even further frustrations about those [expletive deleted] Europeans.

Last night (Saturday night 8/11) Liz and I went to this:
7pm-5am. I think we left our place at 6:15pm Saturday and came home 8am Sunday morning. We really had no choice in the matter. The trains stop running at 11:30pm, and this was about 1.5 hours (by train) from where we live. So once it hit 11:00 we were stuck there, whether we liked it or not, until the trains started up again at 5:30am. Funny enough, this is a pretty standard practice among the night owls. Fortunately, this was the plan the entire time. We met our friends there, the girls from Scotland, and had a blast. We danced, talked, met people, sat outside and talked some more, went to Krispy Kreem, then had one last drink at 5am before getting on the train and parting ways with our friends.

We arrived at the basement party to find a relaxed atmosphere. 12 DJs spun. We miss your down tempo and electronic ambient DJs back in Atlanta (Jen and Wendy you must tour Seoul!), but this wasn't horrible. Most of them were decent, one was exceptional (the one who didn't spin house music [gag], imagine that).

And boy, did we meet a lot of people, which brings me to my next point: there are jerks all over the world, but the stupidity of Europeans is far and away greater than anything we hear about in the States. Now, these Scottish girls, they're cool with Americans, thank god. We've actually been told by numerous people we're "nicest Americans" they've met, and I'm starting to believe it's not so much us as it is them. Take, for instance, that the most popular t-shirts at this party were ones that either made fun of Bush or said outright he and his "cronies" were "doing evil since 2000," or something like that. Add to that the fact that while I was sitting outside with Arlene, one of the Scottish girls, a young Englishman was just walking through the crowd milling in front of us as he shouted, "Jesus hates America," to which everyone laughed. Oh, I'm not done either. Then there was the sandwich shop, where we met the young man who putting the party together. He's English (Bush hating t-shirt and all) and proceeded to give us a little lecture on how much racism was in America towards Muslims because Americans are stupid and don't educate themselves.

This is a country that has a 40% tax rate, a camera on every corner, is essentially becoming Big Brother and they're griping about us? Mind your own business. I know England is an ally, but the younger generation doesn't see it that way. But it's not just England, let's not rag on them, there's enough anger to spread evenly over the entire continent like a smooth layer of cream cheese on a bagel. Another U.K. citizen, for example, politely told me not worry about it because I had to admit, "America has done some evil things." What bothers me is how lightly we're tossing around the word "evil" now. That is a serious word. Is Europe so slack on educating its populace that anything someone does they don't like is now "evil"? Hitler was evil. Satan is evil. R&B music is evil. America is not evil, you European dimwits. Europe, go take a collective jump off of something tall. I'm really tired of being made to feel guilty for being an American. The NAACP has done a great job trying to make me feel bad for being white. The ACLU has tried hard to make me (and those like me) feel bad for being male, Christian, and for holding to a belief in personal property. We have a good thing going over here, whether you know it or not. Hey, you know how you're not speaking German now? You're welcome.

Enough of that. Two closing things:
1) The Beatles are from Liverpool and Oasis is from Manchester. Never mix that up when speaking to an English person.

2) If you like The Beatles you must get their newest album, "Love." It was used as a soundtrack to a Cirque de Sole show, and it features a great mix of the Beatles best cuts and all are re-mastered! It sounds gorgeous.

If The Heat Doesn't Get You, The Bugs Will

2007-08-02T18:00:00.000-04:00

I believe South Korea to be, like the island in the T.V. show LOST, a constructed experiment human kind can send it's detritus off too. Made by another race long ago, this knowledge has since been lost (ha ha, get it?) and we simply believe this to be a naturally occuring island -- a place the peoples here have been living for thousands of years.

Why do I think this, you ask? First, it's like 2 Gajillion-Freakin'-Degrees. I'm not making that up either. That's really how hot it is here. As if that wasn't bad enough, the humidity is an amazing 500%. You seriously have to swim everywhere and a snorkel is standard issue. Both of these factors add up to a place where a human being can never ever sleep. Even if you trick your body into resting by drinking a lot of soju, when it wears off in the middle of the night, your body goes, "Oh, cripes, I'm underwater. Wake up you idiot!" To which you respond (now awake), "S@#$."

Let's assume you somehow don't mind sweating ALL the time. Let's assume you can sleep in this weather. Even if you manage some shut eye, the bugs from hell will make sure you get up at 6am no matter what. They're cicadas, or mutant crickets, or something so annoying and loud we can hear them on the 8th floor as if God himself was holding a speaker next to our window in his hand and turned the volume to 11.

In the end, I think South Korean summers are like a test of the will. Like some bad Jack London story (weren't they all bad though?), I will learn more about myself, my surroundings, and the order of the cosmos if I can suffer through the hot months and make it to the colder ones. In the middle of September, when it starts to cool off, I suppose there will be a moment, like at the end of every movie about man and nature, when I'll look off into the sunset as a voice over talks about how I have achieved peace.

I say let's skip the lesson. I would sacrifice small puppies for an air conditioner.

Educate Yourself: Literary Lectures Podcast List

2007-08-01T09:33:00.000-04:00

The greatest thing about the rise of iPods (I think) is not the fact one can take their music collection anywhere, it is podcasts. To use an old media analogy, podcasts are nothing more than a radio show that you download, usually for free. The great thing about podcasts is that, like this blog, they use RSS. That means, if you subscribe to a podcast in iTunes, you can automatically update it and keep getting the newest "episodes."

Anyway, that was for the uninitiated, so let me get to the point: I've found some great lectures and educational content. The first great thing is that Apple is now aggregating the free lectures universities put out into a section in the iTunes store called iTunes-U. You can read up on it here and then click the link at the bottom of the page to go to it in your iTunes. I found a great philosophy podcast from Berkley that talks about The Brother's Karamazov as an example of exstentionalist literature (something I don't buy).

Next, I found The Stingy Scholar, a blog that brings together the free educational content in podcasting, making it easier for the rest of us to find. Lastly, the CELL podcast actually features some lectures on Shakespeare from the University of Queen Mary in London. See what you can find for yourself and share them with me!

I love the educational podcasts, but I think the really exciting news is The Hype Machine. This thing is friggin' clever. So, for you techies, you type in an artist or track name, right? And The Hype Machine culls all the blogs on the web, pulling down every MP3 with that tag on it, puts it all in an RSS feed and delivers it to iTunes like a podcast. Brilliant, new music every day!

It's Seoul Time!

2007-07-30T22:54:00.000-04:00

We finally made it to Seoul yesterday. This is a good story, so here we go.

We found out from LJ and Minsoo that the closest train station to us is Dongam Station. So, yesterday afternoon, we decided to be adventurous and give it a shot. We hopped a green bus to Dongam Station, which you can see below, and found it with no problems.Once in Dongam Station we encountered a watch seller. For a country that's rather technologically advanced, I found this watch hilarious. Look below and click it for a big version. Is there something wrong, I wonder, with a digital thermostat, or is this an artistic statement? This thing was big and took up most of my palm. Very cyberpunk. I expect to find a watch that runs on a steam engine attached to your arm next time we go there.
We got on Line 1, which stops....a lot of places. Look at the map below. This is an overview of the entire train system. Luckily, all the directions (written and verbal) are in Hangul, English and Chinese.
So, thanks to my brother's advice and information we made it to Iteawon -- the international district of Seoul -- after about an hour and ten minutes on the train (including some transitions).

When we say international, we mean it. There were hordes of English speakers here. There was a Starbucks ($16 for a bag of whole beans), a McDonald's, a Burger King, and English bars galore. Below are some of the highlights of what we saw. First, the Aussie Shop. We didn't go in, but there is no American Shop, or England Shop, so we thought this was pretty cool.
This one is for my dad. Check this out:
Among all the great things we saw there, this was by far the best. Here was authentic Mexican food. Real re-fried beans, real sour cream, real limes in the Corona, real sopapilla, real everything. It was awesome.
We finished the evening there, at the Mexican place, with our new Scottish friend, Arleen. During the day, we met Arleen and Lisa, two Scottish girls who have been over a little over a year and live and teach in Seoul. They were great! They cam and drank with us at the English bar, Gecko's, then Arleen had dinner with us. We have plans to all get together here at the apartment, drink soju and watch movies. Hopefully, we're all meeting up on 8/11 for a DJ night in the Hyehwa district.

But I digress, the story isn't over. So, the trains run until about 11:30 pm. At 10:30...with plenty of time ...we boarded the train to go home. But we goofed. We didn't tranfer to the Incheon track of the #1 line (think of the way the Marta North line splits for Doraville and Sandy Springs). We backtracked to Guro station, but the trains had stopped. And we were a good 30 minutes from home. Great. We don't know the bus routes, we have SOME cash left, and we know our address. So we stood outside Guro station essentially bargained with taxi drivers to take us home for $20. But know we know! It had to happen once, and its good to get it out of the way.

Anyway, what we did get was this cool little keepsake: a traditional Korean pipe made of brass and bamboo.

This Post Is For Tom K. And Barry H.

2007-07-27T13:16:00.000-04:00

Tom and Barry, I think I might shrink this down and make it my new Gmail picture ;-p. I thought you would enjoy this.

PS: We're going to Seoul on Sunday so I'll post a lot Sunday night!

Brought to you by...

2007-07-25T10:22:00.000-04:00

Tonight, to honor all the English tea-
We'll return to our regularly scheduled blog after these messages:

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We now return to the blog already in progress:

-at T.G.I. Friday's! Can you believe it? A Friday's here. The school director bought us whatever we wanted, and we wanted a good bit. Medium rare New York Strip, a rack o' ribs (real BBQ sauce thank God), fries, Corona, and on and on. We're stuffed and feel great. It will be a necessary thing to eat once a month to keep my pallet sound.

Tonight's lesson in Korea is about soju (click that link for the wikipedia article). Much like sake in Japan, but better tasting, soju is Korea's national drink. It's 20% alcohol, and distilled from rice, sweet potatoes, and tapioca, among other things. At roughly 90 cents per 12 oz. bottle it's the cheapest drink in the country, and roughly 3 billion bottles are consumed per year.

Well, all this American food made me think of home, so for the reminder of our time here I will be posting some blast-from-the-past pictures.

Begin Sequence

And this is one of the happiest, best pictures of my family ever:

PS: A thank you to all who have commented on the posts till now. It means a lot to know you read and care enough about our situation to say something: Brandy, Katherine, Barry, and Eric!

take your time, think a lot, think of everything you've got

Fear & Loathing In South Korea

2007-07-18T10:32:00.000-04:00

I don't remember too many summers in my life. I remember fragments of all of them, smashed together, like one long run-on sentence. I can see an afternoon of swimming when I was seven next to riding bikes when I was thirteen. It's all difficult to sort out, except one summer. When I was seventeen, and on my way to being a senior in high school, I used my summer to go work for Word of Life in their STC (Summer Training Corp.) program.

Word of Life, for those that don't know, is an evangelical ministry and Bible College that operates out of New York. They also run two summer camps for youth: one in New York and the one I worked at in Florida. They ran this program that let people like myself come stay in a cabin for 3 months doing some kind of duty. I was maintenance. I mowed lawns, and that was way better than washing dishes, believe me. The pay was minimal to non-existent. The camp emphasized the discipleship opportunities the workers would be involved in as a selling point. Looking back now, I see that as shrewd business to say to a bunch of well-meaning young Christians, "Hey, we'll pay you in God." Thing is, God don't pay no bills. Ah, well. It worked out for the best.

But this isn't about the institution itself. It might be a fine place, but it's not a place I would attend anymore. They are a tad, let's say, small minded. Still, that summer was great for many reasons, but out of the entire thing 2 memories stick out more than any other: my father dropping me off, and my father coming to visit. At that time, I hadn't yet spent any significant time away from home. I was scared to death, and yet nothing could have been healthier than to stick me in a place I didn't know and make me mow lawns for 3 months with strangers.

I distinctly recall him driving me to Florida. I was scared out of my wits. I don't remember any of the trip, or any of what we talked about, but I do remember we went to a flea market the day we got there. We went, we walked around, and that was it. But it stuck in my head. When he finally left, I cried -- at 17, yes. But I adjusted, and then I remember, half-way through the summer, he came back. He showed up again to stay for one night. As an adult, I now understand that he drove a long ways, and spent a lot of money, only to turn around and go back 24 hours later, but I know he did it more for me than for him. That's a nice memory to have. It was nice, at 17, to feel safer in my strange, temporary Florida world simply because my father was showing up. It was like home was coming to visit me, and all the security that a father can embody was coming also.

But what do we do when we get to be adults ourselves and we don't have other people to take the fear of life away from us? How does one deal with the pressure of the fact that you must simply go on, day after day, with no relief. Parents don't get a sick day from their kids. Husbands, as I believe, don't get to quite their wives and find a new one. Mothers and fathers all over America are doing things they dislike and yet they must come home, day after day, with the strength of will to be kind, generous, and loving. When things get scary, there is no one person there, like my parents were, to make you feel safer.

The Word of Life summer has helped my attitude about this trip. Mowing lawns, first of all, was not fun. Likewise, the job here is difficult, but difficult is what you make it. I really never expect to enjoy my job -- most people never get what they want --, but I do expect myself to behave in a generous manner toward my family despite what my job is. So far my success rate is pretty low, but it's one of the primary goals I have for my life. Secondly, I wish I had kept in touch with more friends. "The older I get the more things I have to leave behind", said Rocky in (the surprisingly good) "Rocky Balboa." That's a sad fact. The moral is, take lots of pictures. Write things down. Record everything. Lastly, where do I go when I'm truly afraid? It can't be kept all inside forever. I think that's what Liz is for now, and vice versa.

PS: Before my film credentials get pummelled here, "Rocky Balboa" was, to every one's amazement (including mine), not utter crap. The L. A. Weekly review said: "What gives Rocky Balboa its unexpected pathos is the titanic humility of Stallone's performance, the earnestness with which he plays a man knocked down (but not out) by the ravages of time." It's true, actually. Stallone's acting in this film is the best he's done since the original "Rocky," one of the best films of the 70's. Its major flaw is that it's so obviously working to redeem the franchise from II, III, IV and V, but, that aside, it's not a bad 2 hours.

Serious Sci-Fi Is Back

2007-07-17T14:12:00.001-04:00

Before you read, you must check out these t-shirts. You'll laugh. Maybe you won't. I did.

Ok, now onto the content:

Danny Boyles is a British director who has made a career out of making what most critics call "genre twisting" films. To American audiences he is best know for making Trainspotting, 28 Days Later, and the follow up film 28 Weeks Later.

Now, he's back with a sci-fi film. In his words: "Hard-core sci-fi has gone out of fashion, hasn't it? There was a strong strain of it into the '70s that tried to depict space realistically, but it's been replaced. Alien, one of the great masterpieces, was quickly followed by Star Wars. And Star Wars, of course, led everyone to fantasy sci-fi, that playground where anything goes. You can imagine any creature, on any planet. And they all talk English."

That excites me! His attention to detail and rules is what made 28 Days Later head and shoulders above other films in its genre. Sci-Fi movies like Alien, Solaris, Serenity, and 2001: A Space Odessey -- films that are masterpieces and follow very real rules -- are few and far between. I'm excited about this, and wanted to inform all of you in case you like sci-fi. It opens in South Korea in April. You can read Wired's article and watch the trailer here.

Freakonomics Findings: Crime and Abortion Rates

2007-07-17T04:04:00.000-04:00

The economist Steven D. Levitt, the academic whose findings are the source of the book Freakonomics, specializes in crime statistics and finding correlations between crime rates, habits, and the demographic data of criminals.

In the wake of the falling crime rate, experts and journalists listed seven major reasons. Here they are, in order:

1) Innovative policing strategies
2) Increase reliance on prisons
3) Changing in drug markets
4) Aging of the population
5) Tougher gun control laws
6) A strong economy
7) Increase in number of police

According to Levitt, only 3 of these can statistically be shown to have done anything (though I forgot which three). Unsatisfied with these answers he went on to write a paper that would win him recognition and also create controversy. His idea is so unique, I had to talk about. In short, he credits the drop in crime, at least half of it, to Roe vs Wade.

I find this idea so interesting, I wanted to write about, link directly to the paper, and read it for myself.

Here is the paper's abstract:
"We offer evidence that legalized abortion has contributed significantly to recent crime reductions. Crime began to fall roughly 18 years after abortion legalization. The 5 states that allowed abortion in 1970 experienced declines earlier than the rest of the nation, which legalized in 1973 with Roe v. Wade. States with high abortion rates in the 1970s and 1980s experienced greater crime reductions in the 1990s. In high abortion states, only arrests of those born after abortion legalization fall relative to low abortion states. Legalized abortion appears to account for as much as 50 percent of the recent drop in crime."

Here is a link to the paper itself:
The Impact of Legalized Abortion on Crime[PDF]

Levitt has commented on his own paper, saying:
"The numbers we're talking about, in terms of crime, are absolutely trivial when you compare it to the broader debate on abortion. From a pro-life view of the world: If abortion is murder then we have a million murders a year through abortion. And the few thousand homicides that will be prevented according to our analysis are just nothing—they are a pebble in the ocean relative to the tragedy that is abortion. So, my own view, when we [did] the study and it hasn't changed is that: our study shouldn't change anybody's opinion about whether abortion should be legal and easily available or not. It's really a study about crime, not abortion."

A Big Weekend

2007-07-15T07:41:00.000-04:00

What a fun weekend. First, yesterday we had dinner with all the teachers and got to hang out more with our last and newest English speaking teacher. Greg is 42, from Australia, and a photographer (yeah!). He really seems like a great guy. He's a Christian and was very open about his past life. He's been clean from drugs, alcohol, and surliness for about 12 years now. We're looking forward to him being here. He's a no-nonsense kind of guy.

Below is Liz with Christine, Elly, and Lauren. The male Korean Teacher (Jay) was off on a date and couldn't make it (click any picture for a bigger version).
Liz and I with some Soju...

Then we all went to karaoke. I started the night off with a rousing rendition of "Daniel" by Elton John.

Elly is a good singer, and loves the American band 4 Non Blondes, believe it or not.
Greg helps me out for Johnny B. Goode.
The percussion section:
Liz and I sang a Backstreet Boys song together, among others.

Lauren sang a funny Korean dance tune at the very end.

Sunday Minsoo and LJ took us to a place called Pu-Pyong in an effort to teach us the very basics of the bus system. Pu-Pyong is a quick 25 minute bus ride away and has a teaming section called Culture Street. There's a Bennigan's, an Outback Steakhouse, two movie theaters, lots of fancy, cool bars, shops galore, tons of people, and an American Style Bar called Goose Goose. We saw "The Transformers" and I met an Irish guy who is also here teaching English at another school. He invited me to Goose Goose with them every Friday and Saturday night. I don't have any pictures of it, but we stepped inside to check it out and they carry American beer, Australian beer, and all the wines and liquor we're used to. Liz and I can't wait to go back (even though no one in the bar spoke English).

This store, although expensive, plays American Hip-Hop and sells American style "vintage" clothes.

They took us to a really great Korean restaurant where we got this "traditional" dish the four of us split. It was chicken (still on the bone) soaked in this soy type sauce and served with rice noodles. Very good.
Here's Liz with them on the bus. The pole hid Minsoo's face.

I am one step closer to completing my old man look with the purchase of this awesome hat! The hats I brought are either all wool or thick cotton and I can't wear them without sweating a gallon. This woven hat is the ticket. In two weeks Minsoo and LJ want to take us to an authentic Korean town. They even brought us their student bus passes to use since they have others. The bus passes are rechargeable at specific locations. They're such generous guys (I paid for their movie to try to say thank you) that we hope they're having fun too.

Oh, I'm listening to an audio book right now: Freakonomics: Revised & Expanded. It's interesting. It's good. Ever heard of it? It's an economists view on cause and effect in our free market. For example, if drug dealers make so much money, why do the majority of them live with their mothers? Is it more dangerous, statistically, to have a handgun or swimming pool at your house? Two chapters are entitled:

Chapter 5: The negligible effects of good parenting on education (instead, the authors assert that it is what the parents are, not what they do, that makes a difference)
Chapter 6: The socioeconomic patterns of naming children (or why do black parents give their children names that will adversely effect their job opportunities?)

The $12 Bottle of Guiness & Music

2007-07-11T22:28:00.000-04:00

No new happenings here in Korea aside from a funny bar experience. I'll get to that in a minute.

Right now, let's talk about music. I love music. It's hard enough to find good music in the States, but here it's doubly hard, so when I found Aurgasm I was immediately thrilled. This is one amazing music blog, and includes full song samples. This guy posts the absolute best pop, folk, indie, electronic, jazz-fusion and downbeat stuff from around the world. His commentary is great too *gasp*. Think of it as the Penny Arcade for music.

I also am getting into French folk fusion. If you like the work of French composer Yann Tiersen (he did the "Amelie" movie soundtrack) you will like Detektivbyrån.

Intermission: looky what we found...

Now, back to our program. The cost of shipping things over here prohibits anything from being shipped over here. So if you want to ever buy us something, I mainly go for music, books or movies. Here's my early list:
Budos Band
Night Ripper
Duets

Anyway, the funny bar experience. It amounts to that it cost me $12 for one bottle of Guiness and I bought two. I couldn't read the menu and who thought it would be $12 for Irish beer? On top of that, the bartender lady never left where I was. Her job was to stand there, talk to me, and drink when I drank -- which mean I was supposed to pour her some of Guiness, my worth-its-weight-in-gold Guiness. The place was swank though. Like European swank with modern interior design, and jazz-fusion playing over the speakers. We're going back for a big date sometime for sure. Everyone in the bar, men included, would turn and wave at me across the bar for no real reason (so would the bartenders actually). It was definitely a higher class of people then we normally see around where we live.

I leave you with some more shots of the few blocks around us we've gone to:

Editorial

2007-07-09T10:16:00.000-04:00

Koreans Are Teasing Me by Marvin H. Squibb

Hi. My name is Marvin H. Squibb. I never did write in this newspaper before. I try to stay on pretty strict alcohol regiment to keep my mind limber for my work, and that can often impair the ability to coagulate complex concepts. Hey, that was three C's in a row. Cool.

But this time I just couldn't read the funnies and then wipe. I had an issue. An internashunal issue to discuss, and I knew it was time to use my skills and write in.

Dear reader, look ye below. Dost thou see, verily, a piece of bread? Might thou sayest unto me, as one would to Jesus, the guy who bowled so well in The Big Lebowski, "Verily, I see-ist not only bread, yeah, I see garlic bread." And I would say unto you, hell yeah garlic bread! But forsooth, it is a rouse, like the French broadcasting commercials on American TV to visit their tiddlywink of a country.I bought this piece of bread in good faith. Longing for a taste of home, and excited for the thrill my taste buds would receive upon biting into the garlicky, tart, sour goodness, I handed over my money only to find I was deceived, possibly by a communist. Dear Koreans, please, for the sake of the U.S./Korean alliance, stop making everything sweet. Sugar goes on your Frosted Flakes, just like mom used to make after her fifth cigarette when I woke up. It does not simply go everywhere else because you happen to have a lot of it. Be American, like me, and put it in people's tail pipes or in your dog's food bowl (man, that was funny). Those are both great places for sugar. But I can't tell you how to be American with your sugar, that's what makes America America, you can be American however you want. So when you start having really non-sweet, Italian foods, then you'll be American. It's as easy as 1, 2, C.

Might I partake in a bit of an analogy here? I do have two whole columns to fill up my parole officer said. My grandfather, Korea, fought for you in the 50's, back when the Great Depression was happening and the Write Brothers had invented the ballpoint pen and something that flies. At the least, he was somewhere in the U.S. army at the time so that makes him involved even if it was undiract--...indeeric---...even if his involvement wasn't, you know, involving. Anyway, seeing as how my grandfather (possibly) might have shed his sweat, blood (unlikely), tears (maybe), thoughts (probably) for you it seems you can do a little bit to give back. Haven't you ever seen the Godfather or any of the subsequent mafia media that it spawned? Haven't you ever been to that great little Italian joint on the corner of 5th and Maple in New York on a Fall's evening and ordered the lasagna from the waiter named Joe? I was breaking parole, but man was it worth it. You should too. Trust me. Time in the Big House is nothing compared to that stuff, and you guys are smaller than us so the Big House is probably much more comfortable. Don't make me write my congressperson about this.

New Korean Friends

2007-07-08T09:57:00.000-04:00

In one of my posts I mentioned we happened to meet two nice Korean guys at the Tiger Hof bar. They've actually started to become pretty good friends. Tonight, they came over (with their portable grill), brought food, and cooked us up some Korean BBQ. Their names are LJ and MinSoo.

In the picture with me is LJ on the left in the brown shirt, and Minsoo is on the right in the grey shirt. There's Minsoo holding up his shot glass of Soju in the picture with Liz. He told us a Korean proverb states that if you drink Soju alone, you will die alone. That's incentive enough for me to keep inviting them over.

Minsoo even brought us a Korean router tonight. For only $35 we got a Belkin wireless router (my Linksys in the U.S. cost me around $75). That's cheap enough to leave here if we have to. Even though the browser interface to the router is in Korean I was able to navigate, even to the point of successfully setting a password. The bad news is, I seem to have misspelled my password and now I can't get back into my router. Oh well. It still sends a signal and if I need to reset it, well, I can read the word RESET BUTTON on the back.

Next Sunday they're coming back over to show us how to buy a bus card, ride a bus, and take the subway. We're going to a section of Incheon called --- errrr.....I have no idea how its spelled, but it sounds like Ping-Pong or Pu-Pyong or something. Anyway, its where the young people hang out and where the theaters are.

Anyway, both LJ and Minsoo are studying to be computer technicians if I understand their degree correctly. Actually, they'll be more like engineers, chip designers, etc. Semi-conductors and other electronic components comprise the bulk of South Korea's exports so that's their field. Unfortunately, they said its very hard to get a job in Korea right now. The market is apparently saturated, and thus many Koreans are learning English to go abroad.

It's work time again tomorrow for us and we're still on the tail end of the sickness. Wish us well and we miss you all!

Picture Perfect

2007-07-08T05:34:00.001-04:00

We're still sick, but slowly getting better. Today was our first full day off since we started and that helped. Last night, we had to buy a mattress pad and some other necessary things, and we discovered there's a market not one block from our apartment. Here are some pictures we got from it. First, the artsy photos. We'll get some of these matted and framed when we get back.

Here's the market below. It has shops of every possible kind. Yes, those are mini-squid in that little yellow box.
We got little slurpees for .30 cents!

What Have We Learned Today?

2007-07-04T09:02:00.000-04:00

It's hard to break down everything we've talked about, prayed about, and thought about during the last several days.

First, we learned we didn't eat beetles. We ate silk worms. Second, we've learned that we the mattresses here (hard as a rock) might feel nice on our back for two nights or so, but they're killer for longer than that. Third, we've learned it gets light in Korea around 5:30am and our bodies are used to waking up with the light. That's going to take a while to adjust too. Fourth, we learned that where there are kids, there are germs. We're both fighting off colds. As usual, I had one really bad day and I seem to be getting over it. Liz will take longer -- sometimes up to a week.

Lastly, we learned that the hard parts seem to be over. Their version of "training" is throwing us in without a life jacket and waving as we dog paddle frantically. It's working. There really is no better way to learn. I already know my student's names, who works, who doesn't, who I like, who I just have to tolerate, which classes I like, which I don't. I really only have one class I simply don't like, but that's the nature of the game.

My favorite class so far is called ICB2. I have them Monday and Thursday nights from 9:10pm to 9:50pm. There are five students, all between 14 and 15, and they have been in an English school since nearly kindergarten (you can always tell who has, their listening comprehension and pronunciation skills are the highest). I'm burning them each a CD of American music styles they like (hardly any rock -- for shame! -- mostly R&B, hip-hop and pop), and am considering having us all meet for an American movie (it's my way of justifying paying for The Transformers. Any movie directed by Michael Bay needs an accompanying excuse).

It's up in the air right now whether a few of my classes will like me or not. I have some smart kids, but they have had bad experiences with past foreign teachers and haven't taken kindly to me laying down the law. They're accustomed to doing what they want when they want, but since I'm not here to be there friend, I'll just have to control them and get the job done no matter what.

Well, I'll say this for Korea: it's safe, the music is WAY better than Japan (I've actually heard some Korean metal and rap that's actually pretty good. Have you ever heard Japanese rap? Gag me), and the people are nice as hell.

When I start getting pictures of my classes I'll post them. We have a informal plan with our Korean co-teachers to go to Karaoke next Saturday night. Yeah! My Johnny Cash is up to snuff!

+AA-

PS: for you music lovers out there: one of the best rock albums of the 2000's is Green Day's "American Idiot," and the unauthorized mash-up American Edit is great. Download it. It's free and it rocks hard core! If you like mash-ups, the best mash-up ever is Girl Talk's "Night Ripper." That album you have to buy from Amazon (or dowload from a BitTorrent site) but its incredible.

Don't Let's Be Upset...Let's Be Mild

2007-07-03T22:04:00.001-04:00

Fun with Korean products! Shopping is fun here because it's like a grab bag. Here I am, thinking we're buying soy milk. But are we? Who knows! For whatever reason, Koreans can't make a cup of coffee to save their life, but they love cold coffee in these little tin cans. Remember, when one gets stressed, just Be Mild.
This coffee tastes, well, okay is a good word. I miss Waffle House coffee. Either they burn their beans here when they roast, or they put in too much sugar. Its nearly impossibly to find whole or ground coffee beans -- everything is instant. Water is pretty precious here (everything is bottled, the tap is undrinkable), so my guess is that making coffee fresh is just too expensive in terms of water usage. Next we have an example of their cute little Coke cans. Everything here is skinny and tall.
But the most fun can be had at a clothing store. Liz bought some little bootie socks that advise us to "Thank Apple Love Happy." Sage advice, my friends. And for the boys, I found this gem:
Nothing says gangster culture like 75 Years And Look Great. That's one old rapper, and man does he, indeed, Look Great and Worn For.

Our substitute for PBR while we're here is CASS beer. It's actually pretty good, and as the bottle says it is the Sound of Vitality.

Ladies & Gentlemen, It's The Beetles!

2007-07-02T22:56:00.000-04:00

Hello all!

Here we are, broadcasting from our apartment, Korea. We just got this set up (literally, 30 minutes ago) and I have to go to work within an hour , so there is just no time to write a proper long blog post. First, I'd like to give "props" to the outfit that supplied us with internet until today. I present PC Submarine:

The fact I can see my browser in English is comforting. Heck, reading English on anything is comforting. How do you think PC Submarine got your business in the first place? I passed by and thought, "I don't know what a PC Submarine is, but I'm checking it out." Not being able to read English has made for some rather...interesting...moments. For those who don't know, Liz and I ate what is best described as "pupates" the other night. It went down like this, I had discovered this bar near us. There are tons of bars here, but I liked the coziness of this one. Plus it had a picture of a tiger on the sign next to the words Beer/Soju/Hof. Now, soju is like Korean saki (but much better) and I have no idea what hof is. Nevertheless, I call this place Tiger Hof. So, Liz and I go to Tiger Hof and decide to be adventurous by simply pointing to the first thing on the menu. The waiter, well, he got ANOTHER waiter to take our order to make sure this was really what we wanted. We had no idea what was happening until they brought us a bowl of steaming soup. Yummy. I dip in my spoon and...wow....baby beetles. Baby beetles filling my spoon. Hey, let me tell you, ounce for ounce these things pack more protein than raw fish. I had two spoonfuls and wasn't hungry the rest of the night. Healthy, they are. The drawback is that they taste like you're eating, well, dirt. And dirty dirt, to be accurate.

So, two nights at Tiger Hof have produced two funny incidents. The first time I went I didn't know about "the button." Let me explain: see, in America, a waiter will keep coming to your table to make sure you're okay, etc. Not here. I didn't know that. See that little brown thing? Its "The Button" at PC Submarine. See, when you need someone you push that, otherwise you could die and decompose in your chair and the employees would probably just light some incense to dispel the odor. So, on our first night, I go to Tiger Hof, unaware of The Button and order a beer successfully (yeah me!). Then I finish the beer and wait. And wait. For an hour I wait till I see this brown button on my table and go, "Hey, that was at PC Submarine! What happens if I push it?" So I do and: victory is mine! It works and I am free from the shackles at Tiger Hof. I narrowly averted death and decomposition.

On to the teaching: today will be our second day. Liz is already there. I'll make this simple: it's hard. It's hard because our "orientation" is nothing of the sort. I started teaching on my own yesterday. I had no knowledge of the texts, I barely could figure out which books were for which classes, I didn't know where the students were, what they needed to review, how fast or slow I needed to go, how the texts paced the lesson, how many pages to cover, etc. Nothing. I don't know the students, what they're needs are, what their names are, who acts up, who doesn't, etc. That was a day. Is this the hardest thing I've ever done? Possibly. I have 10 classes a day, two different sets of classes for M/W/F and T/TH. That brings my total of classes up to around 20. You can imagine how many text books I have to sift through, how many students I have. So, the main difficulty is one of memory. Once I'm not juggling names in my mind, once I'm not trying to read the text while I'm up there, once I am familiar with the lessons and the pacing it will be a simple matter of keeping the class in order.

But I'm not complaining. Deep inside, I like this and so does Liz. I haven't done anything this difficult in a long long time. It's a nice feeling: either succeed or fail miserably. It's nice to have a challenge. Besides, the more difficult the job is the more I concentrate on the essentials in my life, namely Liz. The hard work keeps our alone time a time of encouragement. Once again, this is only for a year, we can take it. :-) Heck, still pray for us, though.

What I Miss
What I wouldn't give for a nice, quiet walk through Inman Park during a warm Georgia night, the big, serene, antebellum houses lining the street while I listen to my folk music (bless you Ane Brun)...oh, and a big plate of cheese fries when I get back home.

I'll post more tonight when I get home, including pictures of our apartment etc.

2006-12-05T00:41:00.000-05:00

Ben Takes Photo Of Himself Everday, Constructs Narrative

This is one of the most creative self-made videos I have ever seen. The "photo of yourself everyday" with a remarkable narrative twist.

Podcast Alley Test

2006-11-22T13:40:00.000-05:00

My Podcast Alley feed! {pca-132ad32feb90525bad4cb39fad0aa946}

Meet The Mighty Prophet Muhammad

2006-10-03T00:40:00.000-04:00

You probably came here for the great collage I put together towards the bottom. If you haven't noticed, Islam isn't all poops and giggles when it comes to us depicting their glorious leader in mocking or demeaning ways. I'd like to say, to you, Muslims, that I understand.

We Americans are not as insensitive as everyone out there thinks we are. Here in the states we have had to stop, stoop, and kindly deal with a similar group of people who become upset when silly, absurd, or inconsistent things are pointed out in their belief system. But over in the Middle East, they don't have any Scientoligists, so they probably don't realize our sympathy skills are far greater then how they're portrayed in the media.

Nevertheless, there is still that pesky little rule in Islam that says if a non-Muslim actually visually depicts the prophet it is a blasphemous insult of the deepest kind. So, no matter how understanding we might be of Islam's little crazy "quirks" like cutting of the heads of infidels, or stoning women, or Mohammad sleeping with children, if we show a picture of their Big Burrito, it's all over. They get pissy, aggressive, throw a tantrum and then threaten to hurt us. This is no new controversy, but it's never to late to get ticked off at it.

Hey, Muslism Extremists, guess what? Suck me. Enjoy these pictures. And Europe, grow some balls you whiny bastards. These wackos are no where near "civilized." They behead people that disagree with them. Are those really the kind of values we want to live in harmony with? Screw that. We should be bombing them back to the Stone Age.

Below is an artistic photo montage.

2006-09-17T23:37:00.000-04:00

Liz Requested This

I know this seems like I'm video crazy, but Liz requested this. Its our favorite "Who's Life..." bit ever. Watch it, its hilarious.

Personality Clash Of The Titans

2006-09-13T10:39:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of introverted friends. I married one, I'm related to several, I can't escape them. For a group of people that are supposedly less than half of the population, they're damn persistent. Honestly, I think I'm being followed.

If you take a little peak on the internet, you can find plenty of articles written about the trials and tribulations of being an introvert. I mean, this stuff is everywhere. From books, to self-help pages, to an Introvert's Rights revolution (oh, puh-lease). Googling the phrase "Extroverts Are Awesome," actually turns up compositions written by introverts on how hard it is to be an introvert, and none written about what I searched for. So, this begs the question, why aren't there lots of extroverts out there writing about how hard (or how great) it is to be extroverted? And then it hit me: it's because we don't complain as much! So, a little black light went off above mine noggin,' and I decided to save my extroverted mates from this introverted barrage! Cue the hero music. Oooo....I'm getting of a lot of cold vibrations from the introverts out there. But, please, (as I wink and smile at you in such a friendly manner) you are the calmer and more thoughtful side of human nature, so hold the hate until I make my case, which I will do in a typical, chipper, extroverted kind of way. Because, hey, we may be the largest personality type but we just can't let all these little articles go without a fight. Someone has to ring the bell, carry the torch, jump the shark, row the bow, etc. and proclaim how great or how difficult it is to be extroverted.

I offer you what the legal profession dubs Exhibit A. Did you read that piece? And that's no blogger, either, which I felt was important, because, let's be honest, blogging is basically Whining-On-The-Internet. No, this is a Real Writer. He's writing an Intelligent Piece, but you can't sugar coat a sour personality, even with professionalism. His argument just makes you want to grab your violin and play it for him and give him the most insincere, "Boo hoo, big guy," you could ever muster, doesn't it?

Well, let's move on to Exhibit B, which I will also quote for you here: "Introvert: a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings (opposed to extrovert)." Now, all those posts start to make a little more sense, because that definition, if you ask me, leans a little toward the narcissitic side, wouldn't you say?

So, it's hard being an introvert is it? Maybe it's just that they're all jealous? Maybe us extroverts are just too happy, and the only way to bring us down is complainin'. Look at Jesse Jackson, that's his only tactic! Well, that's what I think is going on. I don't see any dour, tired extroverts sighing and wanting to read about how to cope with introverts. What's next, support groups? Ha!

Yup, about this time I feel like poppin' my suspenders in a self-satisfied way and sitting down to enjoy some coffee. This is another case wrapped up. If you read all these posts and links you can't help but to come to one conclusion, and that is, well, duh. Of course people won't be as friendly to you if you're, you know, whiny and gripy about how opressed you are. Once again, I point to Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton as examples. Mr. Rogers had good advice about this, he just said try being friendly! It worked for Jesus, it worked for Elwood P. Dowd, it can work for you too. Just talk to people. Hey, even pretend like your interested. Hell, I won't even charge you for this advice. After all, I'm just too damn friendly and extroverted and cheerful and I can't stand the thought of opressing you introverts one moment longer. Someone notify Jonathon Rauch. I just fixed the problem he has been pining about since he published that article three years ago.

2006-09-11T22:27:00.000-04:00

Leroy Jenkins!

Leeeeeeerrrrooooooooy Jenkins!

2006-09-08T18:01:00.000-04:00

Man, Are We Small!

Holy crap, we're tiny.

2006-09-07T12:19:00.000-04:00

Cheap Treadmill Music Video Wows World

I know I'm late to the party here, but this is Ok Go's music video made on a home camera using six treadmills. It was choreographed by the singer's girlfriend (supposedly) and became one of the hottest videos of YouTube. I love it!

Pushing Blackness

2006-09-05T15:59:00.000-04:00

Pushing Blackness
by A.P.

Daryl tugged at the clear, ill-fitting plastic gloves on his hands. The sweat always made them uncomfortable, and they always made his hands sweat.

The young man sitting on a bench watched Daryl pass, but he did not know Daryl’s name because Daryl wore no nametag. He did not need to. He was not a serviceman, or one who performs duties that require public interaction. He just pushes the steel framed cart stacked with blank cardboard boxes from lavatory to lavatory. The boxes hold generic toilet paper, and say “Bathroom Tissue” on them in bold, green lettering. This was Daryl’s job. He re-filled the toilet paper in each bathroom in this section of the concourse.

The irony of this, of course, is that I’ve told you Daryl’s name and not the young man’s. In real life, the situation was usually reversed. At least that’s how Daryl felt as he adjusted the sweaty gloves: like a nameless nobody. Daryl didn’t even refill the toilet paper for the entire concourse, only one section of it. He was not singular. He was not set apart, or priceless, or one of a kind. He tried, sometimes, to consider himself as part of a team, but mostly he felt like a nameless cog pushing a steel cart with peeling paint.

The foot traffic ebbed and flowed around Daryl’s cart. It had a pattern, much like the ocean. The wave of people would surge towards him then they would engulf him, pushing him along. He had learned to maneuver his flatbed dolly with skill, but his deft movements did not earn him any applause. On the contrary, they made him blend in. They made him disappear. The crowd did not notice precisely because he was good at not hitting them. He was good at being a cog.

This is a fact Daryl sometimes reflected upon with a feeling of loneliness, though he did not possess enough verbal acuity to articulate his emptiness. That paradox, interestingly enough, was not a thought that crossed Daryl’s mind. He was oblivious to his own limitations.

As Daryl walked by, the young man saw him transposed against the vast black nothingness of the large bay windows behind him. It was nighttime, and undeveloped fields lay behind Daryl, and against the blackness, against the void, the young man thought Daryl appeared to be at home. At this moment the boy felt lonely himself, and wondered how many times Daryl had pushed new boxes from the storeroom to the bathrooms today.

But who am I to speak for the young man, or what the young man thought when I passed him by. I assume the young man thought these things about me, because if I were the young man, I would think these things about me. Perhaps the saddest fact of all is I am not the young man, and I think these things about me now. Probably, he watched me push my cart and never stopped to even reflect on what my name might be, or what my job might be. Maybe he did, though. Sometimes I wish I knew.

The Hardman Boy

2006-09-05T15:54:00.000-04:00

The Hardman Boy

by A.P.

Musty. The rain smelled musty. It always did in this section of town. She carelessly splashed her right foot into a muddy pool of water. Her socks itched, the cheap cotton weaving already coming unraveled after just a week. She shifted the book bag above her head, trying to lean it so her pens didn't fall out of the hole creeping into the side as the seams split. The amount of books made it awkward, kicking her off balance when she would stumble. The ironic thing was, she enjoyed walking home in the rain.

She stepped in another puddle.

Sniffling. She couldn't stop sniffling. Too cold, too wet. Too much on a free-fall through her mind in a tumbling, stumbling mass of water...

...and she all the sudden realized she was slowing down, and lowering the book bag so she could get a better look at the name of the store as she passed it. "Hardman's Flowers." It was dark inside. The store was closed. But she smiled and then realized she had been completely yanked out of her world by the Hardman World. The world was different when Hardman's was open. When it was, she oftentimes had someone to walk her home. The young man she had met on the way home at night after play practice who was locking up the store and offered, she hadn't asked. He really wasn't extraordinary, but then isn't that what makes a person extraordinary? If they're not, but you think so anyway?

She sniffed and kept walking. But she kept thinking. The idea, she thought, of finding a best friend was just as important as finding one. Her brain and heart had battles like this often. A civil war, but one her mouth tried to laugh at to calm down, like God making the North and South pretend that they were still friends even when guns were blazing. It’s the idea, her heart persisted, that keeps you on track. As long as you remember the idea, you're okay. But an idea is like the wind, or like a breath, or a blink...it can be gone just as fast as you think you remembered it.

She stepped in a puddle as she opened the screen door to her house, scaring her napping cat half to death.

That's why she liked the Hardman boy, she knew.

He was a reminder to her idea so she wouldn't forget. Maybe he was her idea. But even if not, it was still special. With a curios look on her face she walked back to the door where something was on the ground, right outside, right under rain. She opened the screen door and stooped down. It was a daisy. A daisy that she had stepped on, now dirty, white-brown and wet. And under it, a note. A florist's note. It simply said, "Hi. Let's walk soon."

She smiled as she picked them both up from the puddle.

Jesus Wore Jams: An Academic Excercise

2006-09-01T10:32:00.000-04:00

I recently received an email from a friend of mine telling me to provide him with the link to "that blog" in which I "debated the color of Jesus' pants." In case you can't pick up on his little stab, he is poking fun at the very nature of the web service we so selflessly provide for you, dear reader, here at Poor Young Things.

His remarks have opened my eyes, and I see now how truly academic minds are scorned by the general public. For some reason, it is now silly to whine about and over-analyze every bit of minutiae that occurs in daily life. For some reason, he feels it's funny to mock the fact that I (or my co-writer) might, maybe, possibly spend our time debating concepts so far outside the realm of necessity that they are hard to see with the naked eye.

But, I will not be held down, unwashed masses! Oh, no. You cannot kill the party, and I, right here and right now, want to have a party: a party of intelligence. Let me unleash my mental arsenal.

As stated above, my friend casually tossed out a reference to Jesus wearing pants. Observe as I perform academia on him and his theory:

My Friend, I'm sorry to inform you that Jesus didn't even wear pants. As anyone who has ever read any important books knows, Jesus wore Jams. They are half trousers, half shorts, Friend, and ideal for the hot climate Jesus lived in. Besides that, the colorful tropical prints brought a little spice to the dull brown and khaki life of the disciples. He is, after all, the light of the world, and that's not strictly metaphorical. Picture, if you will, a wearied but happy Jesus leading his followers in a rousing round of "Kumbaya," the JesusJams emphasizing to all who gazed upon them that He is, indeed, not simply singing mere words like those Pharisee fellows down the block. No, sir. Jesus brings verisimilitude to His message. He has come to make your burden light, and the bright, rainbow Tucan bird on Jesus' leg makes you nod. "Yes," you say, "Verily, he preaches peace and happiness, and thusly he shows it unto me: behold, his Jams."

As you can see, that paragraph above represents true scholarship. So, you, sir, can take your "pants" comment you so casually tossed out and go back to the library. Around here, we bring those blue sparks, and you can observe them spewing forth from the rails as our Train of Brilliance rockets down the tracks at speeds previously thought impossible.

A.P.

"Superman Returns" Flies In The Face Of Movie Conventions

2006-07-06T16:00:00.001-04:00

Review by Aaron Pevey & Eric Smith
**spoiler warning**

I'll admit Superman Returns is not an easy movie to swallow. Bryan Singer has made the most emotionally charged Superman experience to appear on the big screen. In fact, it’s not wrong to say he's made the most down-to-earth superhero film ever. The strength of this movie rests in its verisimilitude. Even more than Richard Donner’s Superman: The Movie this movie takes itself completely seriously, and some complaints have been directed towards this very fact. People find themselves uncomfortable with the intimate window we’ve been given into Superman’s soul. Gone is any of the sly, knowing portrayal Christopher Reeve brought to his version of the character, and in its place newcomer Brandon Routh allows us to see all the insecurity that rests just below the surface. Although our society has grown increasingly comfortable with (and perhaps even thirsty for) dark, cynical superhero films, we don’t expect this from Superman. We are accustomed to seeing the Man of Steel as the forever-cheerful boy-scout, helping with a wink and a smile no matter what emotional pressures he may be under; to lay bare Superman’s pain unsettles us. This film emphasizes not the glory Superman’s powers bring him, but the way they isolate him from the population he daily labors to protect, and that sets it apart from every Superman film that has come before, shattering audience expectations in the process.

At first glance, Returns seems to have the superhero movie formula backwards. While the X-Men and Spider-Man operate in cities that fear them, Superman flies above a population that adores him. Whereas Spider-Man and the X-Men must learn to love those who persecute them, Superman seems quite gloomy for someone who is so esteemed. Why then does he have any reason to fret at all? Why should he spend the better part of a two-and-a-half our film flying around looking glum and out of place when everyone cares?

Superhero movies to this point have been rather formulaic. Not that they haven’t been good, mind you: the Spider-Man franchise is looking to be the most consistent, while X-Men brought new depths to an ensemble cast. Yet we’ve grown accustomed to the setup - tension - battle - resolution pacing this genre usually employs. Singer goes for broke in Returns, shattering this convention for better or worse. In every other superhero film, even the most character-driven ones, the plot has been the central point of the film; in Superman Returns, however, plot takes a back seat to emotional exploration. The focus of Returns is not how Superman thwarts Lex Luthor’s evil plan, but rather the alienation he feels from a world which adores him but in which he can never lead a normal life. This relegates what would normally be seen as the main conflict of the film – Lex Luthor’s newest scheme for money and power, and the havoc it wreaks – to a secondary role, almost an afterthought to Superman’s emotional crises, both with Lois Lane and the world in general. Because of this, anyone going into this film expecting a normal superhero story will be caught off guard by what would seem like inexplicable choices in pacing and structure. Looked at through the lens of an action hero story, the film moves at a near-glacial pace, holding off on its first action sequence for nearly an hour, and not revealing the scheme of the villain until about halfway through. This time is instead used to emotionally ground the audience into the mind and heart of Superman/Clark Kent, slowly revealing how the world has changed in its five years without him, and instilling into the viewer the same sense of alienation felt by the protagonist. This is most shockingly portrayed in Lois Lane, who has not only moved on from Superman emotionally by finding another long-term relationship, but who has actively turned her back on her former love by authoring a Pulitzer-prize winning editorial on “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman”. About the first half of the film is dedicated to showing the emotional havoc inflicted upon Superman by these discoveries, the sense of alienation he feels from the woman he loves, even as he quickly regains the adoration of the entire world. By the usual conventions of superhero films, this part of the film is dead weight, a pointless digression from thwarting bad guys; for Singer’s purposes, however, this section is grounding the movie in the questions it will then spend the rest of its running time addressing. The final act, portraying Superman’s near-death, also runs afoul of expected superhero plot conventions. In most films, after the resolution of the outward conflict – in this case, Superman tossing Luthor’s new landmass into space – there are a couple of minutes of wrap-up scenes, and the movie ends; Superman Returns, however, continues on for another twenty minutes with what may seem to be a completely unnecessary and melodramatic subplot. However, once again, Singer here is defying the conventional plot-driven superhero formula to show us the emotional fallout of Superman’s actions, on the world at large, on Lois Lane, and on himself. When the movie finally does wrap up, it focus on any single heroic moment, but on a melancholy and emotionally significant one, where Superman accepts his new place in the world and in Lois’s life, even as Lois realizes the world’s need for him. This is the true heart of the film, to which Lex Luthor and his plots play merely a supporting role.

Stopping the catastrophic plan Luthor has hatched is emotionally satisfying, but not too terribly tense. Superman, we all know, would have saved the day no matter what. It’s fun to watch him give his all, but somehow, in our hearts, we know Superman's all will always be good enough. What this movie truly wants to question is not whether he could do it, but would he feel satisfaction from doing it? Would Superman push that huge hunk of land into space then return to do more good deeds, accepting of his destiny, or would he hover there, dreading the loneliness he must descend back into? In the end, this movie is not about cheering for a hero over the deeds he performs. It’s about cheering for a hero because he chooses to keep performing them day in and day out despite his personal struggles.

For many movie goers that might be a deal breaker in and of itself. What good are superhero movies if the director undercuts all the heroic moments with a sense of vague unease? But this is precisely what Singer does. After Superman saves the falling plane, it’s heartwarming to watch the appreciative crowd cheering their hearts out, and Superman himself is pleased. Yet this moment comes fairly early on in the film and is never repeated. The rest of Superman’s heroic deeds are met with blank, wide-mouthed stares from the onlookers. After saving an out-of-control car, for example, a throng of people gather to watch him set the car on the ground. With mouths open and the tension high, Superman opens the car door and asks if the driver is alright. Then, aware his job his completed, Superman looks up at the crowd and…nothing. No applause, no cheers, just stares. Are they stares of awe or fear? For a second it doesn’t even seem as if Superman himself knows for sure. Singer deliberately paces this segment, and most of the film, to reflect what it must be like to be Superman. After all, when in the movie do we ever see any bustling street scenes? Instead of a busy Metropolis, Singer shows us a city that is always either staring at The Man of Steel, or waiting outside his hospital in reverential silence. We never get a sense of “life in Superman’s city” because the movie is not from the viewpoint of someone who lives a normal life. We only ever see a crowd in mid-stare or mid-cheer because that is how Superman sees them. Through Singer we get a picture of Kal-El’s isolation, and we learn that the real reason he is a hero is due to his desire to do the right thing despite his ever-crumbling personal life. There’s not much we can learn from Clark when he’s lifting a car above his head. His phenomenal deeds wow us, but they aren’t the heart of the story, they aren’t the reason he is special. To not have ulterior motives, to do the right thing because it is right, is indeed to rise above humanity and become a role model of morality. Doing good for the sake of others, not out of guilt (Spider-Man) or obsession (Batman), is what sets him apart. If anything is wrong, it is that we find altruism so difficult to believe in that it becomes more unlikely than a flying man in blue tights.

I Was In A Movie Once

2006-02-27T17:44:00.000-05:00

Yes, I was once in a movie. A grade "A" flick. If this was "A Christmas Story," it would have gotten an A++++++. The movie was Diary Of a Mad Black Woman, a peice of schlock written and produced by Tyler Perry, the playwright who is still cashing in on his play-to-the-lowest-common-denominator, stereotype-laden character Madea, a fat black grandmother who has her nose in everyone's business.

But, luckily, I was on hand to save the day for this picture. Notice the amazing acting in these screen shots. You don't see much, but what you see is money. When you only get 10 collective seconds of screen time (and none of it in focus) you make it count, brother. Click on the pictures to see the full size.

This ballroom scene was not the only one we filmed, but the short sighted editors cut me out of the other stuff. I was probably making the big dollar talent look bad, you know how I do. We sat in this banquet hall for, no kidding, about six hours. I wanted to be one of the dancers (whom I don't show) but the girl I was with wouldn't have it (She's sitting beside me in the gold dress) -- and she probably made the right decision. We were tired and I'm not a great dancer anyway. Before this scene, she and I and one other couple sat in a limo for 2-3 hours as several luxury cars pulled up to let the VIPs get out as the camera's rolled. Well, our car never actually made it to the red carpet. They kept calling cut everytime I was about to get out of the car. Not a bad way to get some money though...we just sat and talked in a cushy limo for 120 solid minutes. All told, the shoot went from 8pm Sat. night to 10am Sun. morning.

59 Is The New 17

2006-02-01T15:00:00.000-05:00

I can still call my father-in-law Tim for one more year, after that, it's Mr. Tim. See, he's turning 60 next year. This year, though, he's a mere 59 -- as of Friday -- an age that's known as Not Quite As Distinguished As Being Sixty. Its kinda like turning 17, or 26. There isn't really a big payoff involved. He can already drink, he can already vote, he can already join the army (or be drafted if they need him too...hey, you never know, he's got what employers are always looking for: experience. After all, WWII went up to a Fourth Draft Registration[PDF file]), and its not really a cool, rebellious thing for him to pilfer the keys to the car and go speeding around town.

So, basically, after some mild (read= '30 seconds') research I've come up with some benefits he has to look forward to next year. And let me tell you, these make turning 60 a serious value-add. It makes 29 look rather dismally mundane.

Page 60 of the Alcoholics Anonymous book is the very page that prints the very important, Christ-centered ABCs of AA. Strongbad's 60th e-mail is a hoot. The U.K. has a great site about 60+ benefits. I understand this isn't in the U.S.A., where we happen to be, so one might think it doesn't apply very well. Well, one would be right. But stick with me. There's enormour benefits added to a wireless signal that operates over 60GHz, according to this article. Also, Nokia talks about the amazing benefits of their Series 60 phones. Boy oh boy, look at this awesome cover from Thrilling Comics #60. What great artwork!

So, it looks like Tim won't be getting any special treatment, personally, at age 60 unless he moves to Britain, but it hopefully will be comforting for him to know that the number 60, in and of itself, does have special properties. But don't look so glum, chum! My research might not have pulled up anything special, but as you can see in the pictures I added from the AARP website: 60 can be a lot of fun. According to AARP, people who are 60 enjoy (a) tearing down random people's houses, (b) stealing lunches from folks in the cafeteria, (c) rubbing the insoles of old tennis shoes on their fingers, and (d) being the pace-bike for the Tour De France (complete with little teddy-bear backpack). That sounds like a rockin' good time! Sign me up to turn 60 next year too!

In all seriousness, Tim, happy birthday. I'm glad to be in the family. You're special and do so much for all of us! You've been an encouragement to me in a big way, and your acceptance of me is so very appreciated. I tried to write a little poem about how good your burgers were and how endless your liquor cabinet was...you know, all the qualities a man aspries to, but i couldn't get it to rhyme very well. That's why I'm in literary analysis not creative writing.

Love,
Aaron

Gotta Love Buster Bluth

2006-02-01T11:19:00.000-05:00

Casting The Widest Net

2006-01-29T22:37:00.000-05:00

What spurred me to write this post are the very ads you see at the top of this page right now. At the time of writing they read something like this: "Baptist Sermons," "Sermons You Can Preach," "God," and "positive Thoughts."

That's a nice rainbow of interests isn't it? No one actually reads this blog anyway, so it doesn't really matter what Google puts up there, but those ads, I find, are incredibly awkward. Supposedly, those ads are "targeted" towards me? I'm the one writing about God so much, so Google assumes (I guess) that simply showing me an ad called "God" would reel me in. After all, you can't boil down the Christian faith to a more appropriate keyword. If you actually knew me, though, you would know that putting up an add called Baptist Sermons would most definitely not make me clink on the link, except for maybe a good chuckle. In other words, Baptist Sermons might be about God in general but have nothing to do with what I am interested in. The assumption that they do only proves the assumption maker is an alien in my world. By putting those ads up, Google effectively distances themselves from me, and my faith in their ability to target me with ads falls considerably. I have been drawn into full awareness of their technique by their failure.

In a bizarre way, this tactic of casting a wide net to see what sticks is pretty much how the church runs things now. Actually, its not a bizarre connection when you stop to think about it. Over the past two decades the Protestant church has slowly adopted the tactics and social algorithms discovered for and adapted to the marketing field. The church begun using demographic information some twenty+ years ago to more effectively divide ever growing churches into distinct "groups" to better minister to the congregation. Sunday school became split among age and gender: Single College Students, Youth, Seniors, Married Adults, Divorced Adults, etc. The next thing we know, College, Yong-Married, Widower and Youth groups popped into existence and the church body became slowly sub-divided. Along the way, certain aspects of Christianity and human nature got completely ignored, chief among them the fact that Sunday school isn't really supposed to be school-like and church isn't there to sit you down and behave, dammnit, and make you learn these verses. Its not about knowledge. Its about worship, community and fellowship. The amount of fellowship and community someone can have when they're shuffled off to their own peer group is rather limited. The church is compared metaphorically to a family for many reasons, and one of them is because a family isn't a carefully hand-picked little bunch of people. A family is often a hodge podge of (seemingly) randomly chosen people thrown together. Demographics and interest surveys arent used before a parent gives birth. What you get is what you get.

If the Bible keeps comparing Christianity to such things as family, and marriage, etc, why do we keep trying to make our churches more like a modern marketing focus group? Why can't we just stick to being a family and all the mess that implies? Younger people learn a lot from being around adults and children. The more we try to predict where someone should fit in the more we run the risk of looking like those damn Google ads, and the more we run the risk of driving people off. If we really took the time to get to know people who go to church with us we might discover putting them in their "proper" people group is the worst thing possible, even though on the surface they seem to fit there (very much like my Baptist Sermons ads).

But the problem is bigger than how churches divide up Sunday School. Demographics and the science of the human has completely invaded our churches to such a degree its a way of thinking now. If we really have to use this "science" to make our ministries more efficient then our churches are just to darn big. Maybe size is the bringer of all these techniques. Once you get so very big you can't know people personally anyway.

Why The Savage Has To Die

2005-07-22T11:55:00.000-04:00

"Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley presents the reader with a view of a completely ordered, sterilized, utterly controlled London. People are appeased and held in check, not by the punishment of unwanted behavior, but by the excessive reward of "positive" behavior. The thoery is that the populace will never riot if they are given bread and circuses day in and day out endlessly.

John Savage, a Shakespeare-reading Indian from the wilderness in the Unites States, is introduced to the "new" London only to be horrified by it. He finds the people there to be sub-human, their emotional capacity to be infantile, and their pursuits and daily lives to be meaningless. Fighting against their painless, passionless existence (passions, after all, produce allegiances and unpredictability) he becomes more and more religious, subjecting himself to solitude, hardships, labor, and disciplines for the purpose of purification. Eventually, the madness of the controlled, happy, painless society overcomes him: he loses control to a fit of rage, becomes insanely violent, and then hangs himself for his transgression.

As the only rational voice in the book on the subjects of passion and God, just what, then, does the Savage represent? It seems as if his death simply proves the culture correct: that man is wild and must be conditioned to be human-less to be able to survive. Or does his willingness to follow his beliefs, to embrace pain and passion, elevate him to a hero? Is John an iconic example of what religion negatively does to people who seek it whole-heartedly, or is he a hero, proof that a belief in God pushes men to break manmade bonds and achieve a sense of individuality, however tragic that journey might be?

John Savage's fatal mistake was becoming exactly what he loathed. In attempting to flee from the limitations that the new society had placed on people, John invented his own to place on himself. To move further from painlessness, he begins beating himself with a whip. To move further from the society's complete lack of solitude, John embraces the life of a hermit. To move further from the society's conditioned belief that happiness is of the utmost importanace, John conditions himself to feel guilty when happy. No ground, in the end, is gained. John fails to advance further than the corrupt society he detests; his life, instead, becoming a pathetic parallels of theirs.

The lesson from John's example is obvious. Becoming the opposite of what is bad in society is not necessarily holy and right, it is simply the opposite of what is bad in society.

Such is the case with the modern evangelical church. By attempting to protect is congregation from the hurt and despair that inevitably accompanies sin, the church has removed all chances for a true understanding of repentance and the rejuvination that comes from God's mercy. By preaching legalistic means to achieve purity, the church has done an enormous disservice to its members. As the Savage quotes from "Othello" to Mustpha Mond (the World Controller for New London), "If after every tempest come such calms, May the winds blow till they have waken'd death!" (II.i.185-186). Mond's attempts to make a society with no pain had succeeded in making happiness a god. Likewise, the church, in an honest attempt to steer its members towards more "righteous living" has made safety a god. We, as believers, are now more obsessed with doing no wrong than we are with truly understanding God. Safety has taken the place of truth. Our eyes are turned on ourselves, constantly examining our daily routines and habits, attempting in vain to curb our appetites by feasting on an anemic diet of artless (but safe and sterilized) Christian media, instead of being turned on Him who will direct our path naturally.

Unequally Yoked

2005-05-23T23:15:00.000-04:00

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? --- I Cor. 6:14

This verse from Paul's first epistle to the Corinthians is usually quoted in the context of marriage, as a caution to Christian singles to avoid romantic entanglements with non-believers. However, while this is certainly a valid application, there is nothing in either the context of the passage or the language of the verse itself to limit its admonition to this single area. There is another field where Christian and non-Christian can be bound together -- the area of business. A specific instance of this was brought up in the recent discussion of copyright procedures, that of a Christian company being owned by a non-Christian company. How does this admonition apply to that circumstance?

The metaphor being used here is that of yoked animals, two beasts of burden (at the time, most likely oxen) hooked together for the purpose of pulling a cart or a plow. The key aspect of the metaphor is that yoked animals always have to move in unison; the stronger animal changing direction forces the other to make the same change. Another critical element to the picture is that the animals are not free to take themselves out of the yoke; without outside intervention, they are trapped in this relationship. When applied to human relations, this image suggests that of a unbreakable binding such that, when one member of the pair or group makes a decision, it must be followed by all (this could be arrived at through autocracy or democracy, but the end result is the same -- there can be no independant action). There are human relationships that do not follow this pattern, such as normal friendship; friends can take different paths in life, and as long as those paths do not diverge too far, still remain friends, and when those paths do go too far, they are free to leave the friendship. Marriage is a different matter; since God does not countenance divorce, the individuals are not free to leave, and any significant decision by one partner will also change the life of the other. This is the reason that this verse is so often cited as pertaining to marriage. In addition to marriage, the relations of people legally bound in a joint business venture also follow this pattern. A company, though made up of individuals, is a single entity, and therefore the people who compose it must all move as one in matters of business (though they may have differing directions initially, their differences must be resolved or overruled before the company as a whole can take action). Therefore a Christian company should not be "unequally yoked" to a non-Christian company.

But what does it mean to be a "Christian company"? Applying the term "Christian" as an adjective is problematical, at best. In the Bible, the word is only used to indicate people who have accepted Christ and are "saved", and is therefore a noun. Our society, however, has modified it into serving double duty, both as a noun and as an adjective. So the question must be asked: if an impersonal entity like a company cannot be saved, what does it mean for it to be "Christian"? One possible definition is that any company owned or staffed by Christians is a "Christian company", no matter its purpose. This definition is a popular one, and therefore it is easy to find "Christian" laundromats, "Christian" plumbing companies, "Christian" used car dealerships, and the like; usually these are easily identified by the icthus included in their company logo or the "Christian" company name. A more narrow definition would be that a "Christian" company is one engaged in providing distinctly "Christian" goods and/or services -- "Christian" publishing houses that only publish "Christian" books, "Christian" record companies that only produce "Christian" music, ect. In this case, the very existance of the company itself is tied up in being Christian, for without that identity there would be no market for its product. Though I personally would lean towards the latter definition, for the purpose of this post, I am not going to distinguish between these two types, because both have identified themselves to the world as "Christian", and are therefore bound by what is expected of those who claim that name.

Now that we have a working definition of a Christian company, how does I Cor. 6:14 apply? What does it take for a Christian company to be "unequally yoked" to a non-Christian company? Returning to the image of the yoked oxen, it is clear that a Christian company is yoked to a secular one when the latter is in a position to dictate or strongly influence the actions of the former, and the Christian company is not in a position to legally sever the relationship. This can occur in partnerships (when a Christian is in a business partnership with a non-Christian), in mergers, or in ownership. In other words, a Christian company that is owned by a non-Christian company -- which is the case for virtually every Christian publishing house and record label -- is in violation of scripture.

The purpose of a business -- any business -- is to make a profit. There is nothing wrong with this, and without profit no business can survive. Since both Christian and non-Christian companies have the same goal, why does it matter who is in control, since they are pursuing the same prize anyway? The difficulty is that companies are not isolated entities; they are composed of individuals, and every one of those individuals who is a Christian is accountable to God for the decisions he makes on behalf of that company and its pursuit of profit. A Christian is bound by Scripture to pursue profit in an honest and godly manner, both for the sake of his own conscience and to protect the name of Christ from slander (because nothing looks worse to an unbelieving world than a Christian company engaged in very un-Christian business activities). This is an obligation that can at times go even above and beyond the ethical behavior required by the law, because that which is legal is not always that which is holy. This should be the number one guiding principle of any Christian businessman. And therein lies the problem. As long as a Christian company is independant, those people who guide it are free to act in the way they believe best honors God, even if that way does not always maximize profit. A non-Christian company, however, has only one goal -- pursue profit by whatever means necessary (a dictum that in some companies too often includes methods that are not only ungodly but even illegal) -- and they can apply this principle to every company under their control (this is not to say that all of them will, but they can). A Christian business owned by a non-Christian company can therefore find itself in the position of being under orders to disobey the law of God; no matter the intentions of those Christians who run that particular corporation, they must either bow to the will of their owners or be replaced by those who will. In either case, the business that makes the claim to the name of "Christian" will end up acting in a non-Christian manner, bringing shame to the name of Christ and providing a evil witness to the world. A Christian company owned by a secular one is under the constant shadow of this possibility, the constant threat of this very powerful temptation, threatening both their own holiness before God and the image of God before the world. Much like a Christian who is married to a non-believer, there is a possibility that they will resist the temptation to disobey God for temporal advantage, but due to the immediate benefits offered by cooperation, it can be a small one. The Bible instructs believers to flee strong temptations that are too likely to lead to disobedience, and this command is an outgrowth of this principle. There is no certainty that a Christian company will be forced to ungodly business practices if they are controlled in this way, but it is too strong of a possibility for God not to advise against it.

It could be possible to apply this principle to individuals as well, and claim that any Christian working for an unbeliever is in violation of this command, but I believe that is an incorrect application. For one thing, while the individual Christian is a representative of Christ, the job position he fills is not, so no claim is made to a higher standard. The Christian himself should always strive to conduct himself in a godly fashion, but his job makes no statement either way, and so misdeeds of the employee can leave no spot on the reputation of both God and Christians beyond that of the individual's reputation. Also, and what is probably the more crucial difference, the Christian has the freedom to leave his job if his employer ever orders him to act contrary to the law of God. A business owned by a company does not have this privilege; it does not have the power to escape ungodly demands by severing the connection to its owners. Therefore, I would say that, so long as the employee does not continue working for a business that he knows engages in ungodly practices, Christians are free to find work in secular businesses.

Just as Christians should not date or marry unbelievers, in order to avoid being led astray by those who have strong influence on their lives, so Christian companies should avoid entanglement with secular companies, for the same reason. The value gap between the two sides is too large, the possibility for a conflict of interest too high, for them to mesh well together. Though their superficial goal -- the acquisition of profit -- is the same, the Christian company (because it is composed of Christian individuals) has the much deeper, fundamental goal of serving God, of being a light in a dark world; when the latter purpose comes in conflict with the former, the latter must always take precedence. Though it can often make financial sense for a Christian company to sell themselves out to a secular buyer, God has forbidden it. It's time for Christians to reclaim the companies we call ours, and reclaim our integrity with them.

Copyrighting The Bible

2005-05-17T16:00:00.000-04:00

In the front of Zondervan's New International translation of the Bible you can find these words:

The Holy Bible, New International Version (R)
Copyright (c) 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

The NIV text may be quoted in any form (written, visual, electronic or audio), up to and inclusive of five hundred (500) verses without express written permission of the publishers, providing the verses quoted from do not amount to a complete book of the Bible nor do the verses quoted account for 25 percent or more of the total text of the work in which they are quoted.

Let me be clear and note that what is technically copyrighted is the New International Version translation that Zondervan took the time to do, not the concept of the Bible in itself. U.S. copyright law has no jurisdiction over The Bible. That is why the original Greek and Hebrew (along with the original King James version) are free to all. Every translation has a similar copyright attached to it: New American Standard, New King James, etc. For the remainder of this essay I will use Zondervon as a stand-in for all Bible translation companies.

A copyright is used by companies to protect their property so that they can make a profit on that property by keeping it exclusive. It is understandable that Zondervan (and any other publishing company) would need to make a profit. After spending hundreds of man hours on translating a text as complicated as The Bible, Zondervan would, naturally, look for a way to recoup their expenses. I am writing under the assumption that they feel that if their translation became public domain, all their work to recoup expenses could be lost.

But are these publishing companies who translate the Bible only trying to recoup expenses? In this question lies the crux of this essay. Is it right, and yes, I mean morally right, to copyright The Bible -- translation or no? We know its legal to copyright a translation of the Bible, but is it man's place -- ever -- to say, no, you can't have access to that holy text without paying us first? Is it at all within man's jurisdiction to place any kinds of restraints on the Bible? Legality almost doesn't matter at all in this conversation. Man can set up laws that, cosmically, God would laugh at, call frivilous, and then command his followers (ala Acts 5:29) to disregard.

Let's get back to modern day and contemporary economics. I charge that beyond recouping expenses for a translation no company should be profitting from the un-amplified text of the Bible itself. Charging a premium price for a premium Bible that includes leather, maps, notes, etc. is one thing. But to keep a copyright on the text of the Bible implies an intent to profit on the mere text of the Bible. Zondervan, as I mentioned before, holds the copyright to the New International Version of the bible. This is the best selling translation of the Bible in the world. The Bible itself is the best selling book in the world. This means Zondervan has a lot to lose if the New International Version ever went public domain, and what they have to lose is money. The NIV was first published in 1976, by the way. I'm pretty sure Zondervan has more than made back their translation expenses (and made a nice bit on the side) since then. When you factor in that the Bible isn't the only thing they publish, it becomes clear their business model is diversified enough to keep the coffers full even if they offered a no-frills, newpaper print version of the NIV for free.

Some might say to me, though, that if I want the Bible to be distributed so badly then, legally, I can simply buy a bunch of copies and hand them out myself, right? Sure. Should I have to in order for the Bible to be distributed? No. If a secular company translated The Bible knowing it would make them a buck I could understand the desire to retain copyright. And, let me make clear, I am fine with Zondervan and company, just like secular corporations, profiting off anything they want. But do I think they should leverage the Bible for profit over making it available to the masses? No. It's legal, but it's not right. Christian companies are supposed to know better than that. What if I'm a poor Christian who wants to give Bibles to other poor Christians who can barely read American English, let alone the King's English (KJV)?

But, some say, people could just read the King James if they needed to. It's free. You can get the entire thing online. You can post it, distribute it, and recite it however you wish. Sure, but let's face it, people who use "just get the King James" as the party line are decidely unsympathetic to the plight of the reader. The original King James for most people, including the learned, is about as good as nothing at all. Hey, the Greek and Hebrew are free too. In fact, they're even more authentic and error free, why not point them in that direction? If someone is needing a Bible (or wanting to distribute a Bible) bad enough that copyright gets in the way, chances are they are a] of low income, or b] giving out numerous copies to people with low income. Low income people are usually very close to being illiterate. If the good of these people is our highest priority, then we why would we ever burden them with a Bible that was as far from their natural language as King James is? That's not only cheap, it's selfish.

Frankly, I should never have to go through man to get to God. This is the crux of Christ's message: no longer do we need a physical priest to intercede for us, now we can directly approach God ourselves. The same principle holds true when applied to the text of the Bible. Martin Luther, Gutenberg, St. Thomas Aquinas and others acted in stages to free the Scriptures and Christian theology from the strangle hold of the elite. They finally released it from Latin, type-set it in common vernacular and taught it in English (or German) so the serf could learn as the educated did.

With profit coming in from multiple channels why the insistence that they have a "right" under U.S. law to "own" their version of the Bible? Peter, when ordered to stop talking about God (it was the law, after all) replied, "We must obey God rather than men!" (Acts 5:29). So, Zondervan, by law, wants to keep their work from going into public domain. They probably think all their work will be "lost" if they do. Lost for profit, yes. But "lost" for the greater good of mankind? No. I say, "let my text go!"

Plagiarism and Academic B.S.

2005-05-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

Academia is an arrogant world all unto itself. From on high, scholars and pedagogical experts dictate amazing (they're always amazing) new ways to get students involved and excited about their studies. Promises are made about new types of testing or grading procedures that will revolutionize classroom learning as we know it.

The big buzz in academia right now is plagiarism. Due to the internet, plagiarism just got a whole lot easier, but thanks to Google, it just got easier to detect too. So, now, a whole new war ensues with professors, researches, writers and instructors trying desperately to get it through the student's mind that plagiarism is more dangerous than helpful.

In article after obfuscated article, learned men and women pretend to have the answer to this escalating problem, and (oddly enough) the answer is always complicated: a mix of backwards sociology and bloated psychology. In truth, the answer is simple: plagiarism will never go away. I'll tell you why, Academia, and I'll make it simple. It's not complicated. There is no formula to make students behave. There is no way to make them stop appropriating other people's words because appropriation is taught as acceptable from day one both in school and in our culture.

We have an entire generation of students in school now who have been raised in a "I'll copy this for you, you copy this for me" CD/Cassette/VHS society. We have raised our children to believe that they are owed services, money, and goods by the government. Liberal politicians have preached about "Equality" and "Wealth Re-Distribution" long enough for an inherent distrust in private property to be part of our children's worldview.

Whose fault is their plagiarism then, really? How can we expect our students to learn that's its ok to politically fight against private property, but yet respect "intellectual property," a very modern, abstract notion? The answer is you can't. It can't be done both ways. If we are to expect students to honor the work of another author then we must teach them to honor another man's physical space, property, and rights. In the current climate, when a student commits plagiarism it could possibly be argued that, in some cases, there is no sense of wrong-doing. Such a student is only logically carrying through with what he/she has been taught.

Cut with the crap, Academia. Remove your head from out of your weath distribution, stop sticking your thumb up your welfare, and then maybe our children will begin to believe you when you talk about my text and your text.

Blogs as Ego-Stroking

2005-05-12T09:56:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary,

In reality, who really reads blogs save for those already on the blogsphere? Does the general public cruise Blogger looking for insight and information?

What, then, is the purpose of blogging save personal validation? Do blogs, in other words, serve a purpose other than the authors needing to simply be listened to? This entry is a perfect example. As doubtful as I am in the usefulness of blogs I am still writing this to someone.

It seems to me that Blogland is a giant circle of self-publishers reading each other's postings and praising each other for their ideas: I'll scratch your back of you scratch mine on a global scale. If that's the case, why not just have a message board for people to post on? Its because people want to own something. They want to call their blog their place in cyberspace and in that space they can post their ideas unencumbered by immediate input. Their faithful readers will praise their insight and those who don't care or don't agree probably won't take the time to post back.

Is, then, any real work being done? Is any real information being shared?

As a personal continuation of PoorYoungThings.com, this space will hopefully rise above the typical blog tendencies. There will be essays on spirituality, pedagogy, religion, theology and I hope you -- the reader -- will respond back as if we were e-mailing each other. Every now and then I'll go crazy and post personal news about my upcoming wedding or my life (including pictures), but for the most part I want to use this space to start dialogs that carry into the real world. Let's read new books, argue points and develop new ideas then share them with our friends. Use the internet to begin thinking, but then take it off the grid.